Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Shelbie

Mom to Kamberlyn Nicole

Born Still on December 27th, 2010

Abbeville, Alabama

I had a perfect pregnancy, never had any blood pressure problems or any problems really. I was due on February 1, 2011. 

She moved a lot throughout the whole pregnancy, always kicking me. Around the beginning of December I noticed she wasn't moving as much anymore, it just wasn't normal for her. On Dec 8th I went in for a normal doctors appointment and ended up being admitted into the hospital for preterm labor and decreased movement. There was talk of sending me to Birmingham to have her since I was only 32 weeks at that time. I was given medicine to treat the labor and kept in the hospital til Dec 11th. I was still having the contractions, but they had given me medicine to take for them. I went back to the Dr on Dec 16th and they didn't put me in the hospital that time. I was instructed to still take that medicine they gave me. 

On Dec 23rd I went back in for another Dr appointment and ended up back in the hospital for the same reasons. She was head down so that probably explains the lack of movement. I was released again on Dec 24th. On the 25th I started having contractions that actually hurt me. I called the Dr and was instructed to take that medicine. On the night of the 26th I was still contracting. I woke up at around 1:30 am with very bad contractions. That morning around 7 am I was instructed to come to the hospital. I was 34 weeks +6 days. When I got there I was 4cm dilated. The doctor told me they were going to let me have her now and was going to attempt to do it vaginally unless her heart rate dropped any. Her heart rate was about 140, they broke my water and it dropped to about 80, they placed a monitor on her head and it dropped to about 50. They then decided an emergency cesarean section was needed. 

When I woke up, the Dr told me she didn't make it. I thought it was all a dream, I just kept saying "No" I just didn't believe it. When they handed that precious little girl to me, my heart broke in two. I asked for an explanation but all they could tell me was "I don't know what happened." I decided to have an autopsy done on her because I couldn't live not knowing what happened to my baby. They moved me to the surgery floor because they didn't think I needed to be placed on the baby floor with healthy babies. I had her cremated that way I could still take my little girl home and have her with me. 

We just recently found out the cause of her death. It was fetomaternal hemorrhage which they told me is very rare. They told me it happened really fast and there was no way for them to know it was happening. We believe it happened when her heart rate dropped. I miss my little girl more than I could ever explain. I felt so alone until I found some groups of women that went through stillbirth and miscarriages. I never thought at the age of 19 I would be going through something so horrible. Her birthday is right about a month before mine. All I wanted for my 20th birthday was to hold that beautiful little girl again. It's now been almost 3 months since I lost her and it still feels like the next day.