Heidi

Mom to Jocelyn Cristeen

January 16th, 2010

Herriman, Utah

Friday January 15th,2010, 2 days from Jocelyn's due date and four days from her scheduled delivery, started as any other day for John and I. Get up feed the kids, get dressed, John off to work and  I was to meet my mom at noon. But during that time I was having contractions, not too painful or concerned. 

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Cyndi

Mom to Gabriel Benjamin

Stillborn at 18 weeks on August 12th, 2010

Orem, Utah

My husband, Ben, and I have always wanted a lot of kids and have been so thankful for the chance to be parents, especially after struggling with infertility before we had any. We knew for sure that we always wanted to have at least four, but were always open to more. After being blessed with our first four, two boys and two girls, we really felt like we were meant to have another. We prayed about it and knew it was right and on May 3, 2010 when our pregnancy test was positive after trying to conceive for only a month, we were so excited. We felt so blessed for the chance to be parents again to another precious child.

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Nicole

Mom to Remington Derik

Born on June 17, 2010

Grew his wings on June 25, 2010

Salt Lake City, Utah
 

I will never forget the day I took that first positive pregnancy test. January 23, 2010. I was having a few of the usual symptoms.  I was tired, grumpy and a little nauseous at times, my period wasn't even late yet but I had never felt the way I was feeling before and thought I'd take a pregnancy test.  When it came back negative I'd cross the possibility of being pregnant off the list. I took the test and then sat it on the counter. I was so sure it would be negative I didn't even think to look at it until after I had already washed my hands. When I looked down I saw two perfectly pink lines. It didn't even take me two seconds to decide I was excited about it. Maybe everything in my life wasn't as in order as I had imagined it should be when I got pregnant, but I was growing a little person inside of me and knowing that was the best combination of emotions I have ever felt.

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Katie

Angel #1 Stillborn at 20 weeks on November 18th, 2009
Angel #2 Late miscarriage at 14 weeks on October 14th, 2010

Draper, Utah

November 15, 2009...     That was the last day of my life that I could truly say I've been given an easy hand at life with only minor mishaps and nothing really bad has ever happened to me.

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Crystal

Miscarriage May 5th, 2009

Taylorsville, Utah

My husband and I wanted to have all of our children close together. Our first two are 16 months apart. I knew that our 3rd wouldn't be as close, but we just kept trying. On April 28th I had a positive pregnancy test. We were so excited! We told everyone and started making plans. My dad has a condo in Snowbird that we visit every year so we drove up there and were staying overnight for a couple of nights.

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Kayce

First Miscarriage April, 2008

Second Miscarriage December 2008

Third Miscarriage April 2010

Fourth Miscarriage, Tyrion Caelith Pearson, August 5th, 2010

Cedar City, UT

First Miscarriage – April 2008

I was weaning my daughter, who at the time was nine months old. Right after we started, I started bleeding really heavily. I figured it was just my period coming back and didn't worry too much. I hadn't had one yet, and so I knew that it would be heavier than it was pre-baby, and I knew what to look for that could cause problems.

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Michelle

Mother to Juanito 
Born sleeping on December 29th, 2009

Orem, Utah
 

My husband and I have been married for 10 years now. We have 3 living children and one angel in heaven. When our youngest living son turned 1 I decided it was time to add one more to our family. My husband was not as convinced as I was and it took me a whole year to get him on board. We were able to get pregnant fairly easily. We had planned it perfectly. I would be able to teach pretty much the whole year and only have to take off the last month of school. I would get to have the whole summer with the baby and they would be 4 months old before I had to return to work. Things couldn't have been planned better.

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Brigette

Mom to Kael

April 12th, 2008-October 4th, 2008

Taylorsville, Utah

When we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd baby we were so excited. The pregnancy was a rough one and I could tell something wasn't quite right. This baby didn't move around nearly as much as my previous 2. We went in for our ultrasound at 19 weeks to check on the baby and to find out the gender. The tech told us we were having another little boy and that all looked well and that my doctor would be in touch. 

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Emalee

Kenner Jackson

Born too early on November 13th, 2008

Roy, Utah

My life changed almost two years ago. I am not the same person i used to be, BUT really how can I be? I miss the old me, the person who didn’t have a care in the world. The girl who never had to face anything too hard. When I think back to the day it all changed, I think about how scared I was, how excited I was. I was finally going to be a mom! Something that I have been trying to become for over 8 years!

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Jen
Mom to Jonas Brett
Stillborn June 11th, 2010 at 39 weeks
Salt Lake City, UT

I didn't feel Jonas move at 1am in the morning on June 11, 2010 like he normally does, his 3.5 year old brother Jackson didn't move much during the last couple of weeks so figured all was well. I woke up a a few hours later at 4am and just felt like something was wrong. I drank 2 powerades and ate a granola bar so I had some sugary things in my system to make him move. He just wouldn't kick. I kept pushing my stomach trying to get him move and I started to get really worried. I woke up my husband and told him I was going to Labor & Delivery, but I'm sure everything is fine and he could stay home because Jackson was still asleep. The hospital is only a mile away.

I was 100% positive I was just paranoid. I got to Labor and Delivery. They put me in a room and the ultrasound tech came in and said before she began she is not allowed to tell me the results, she said the doctor had to. She began to scan my stomach and I could just feel something was wrong. I told her, please just tell me. She wouldn't look at me, and I told her again, please tell me. She then turned around and I saw tears running down her face. My heart sunk, it was horrible. She said I needed to call my husband. I started to hyperventilate and almost threw up. I just kept praying it was a nightmare and hoping I would wake up. From that moment forward all I could think about was Jackson and how devastated he would be. He has been talking about his baby Jonas coming home soon for months. Jackson even picked his brothers name when we found out it was a boy at my 18 week ultrasound. All I kept thinking was how am I going to explain his brother is dead.

My husband came immediately. I told the doctors I wanted a c-section and they said that would put my life at risk. So now I had to endure full blown labor, which seemed unbearable because my labor with Jackson was terrible. But labor was actually very, very easy. They said since I have already had a child everything has been stretched down there and it wold be easier. I didn't believe them, but I think I only pushed for 8 minutes and it was not too bad. My husband had not cried at all up until this point. But as soon as Jonas came out my husband hit the floor crying. Josh held him for about 20 minutes sobbing.

Jonas looked and felt alive when he came out. He was warm and almost seemed to move, we were just waiting for him to cry like babies are suppose to. It was so hard seeing how much he looked like Jackson. Everything looked like Jack, the only difference was the adorable pitch black hair.

The doctors have ran tests on me and Jonas and have found nothing wrong. Everything seemed perfect. It feels like my whole world has shattered. To this day when I close my eyes or stop thinking about a task I am working on, my mind immediately goes to the moment I saw sweet Jonas come out of me. There is nothing worse in this world than seeing a child that has died. The only way I keep going everyday is my faith in our Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. I know I will see our sweet Jonas again. I also find it so comforting to know all our Angel Babies are together.

Jen blogs at jcubedplus.blogspot.com
You can contact her at jen.salisbury@gmail.com