Morgan

Mother to Ella, lost to miscarriage January 3rd, 2009

and Angel Baby #2, lost to miscarriage April, 2009

Olathe, Kansas

Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to have children.  I think that is what most little girls want.  That is why we love dolls so much.  So it is no surprise that shortly after I got married, I started thinking more seriously about starting a family.  This is the story of my journey to becoming a mother.  It is a deeply painful and personal story.  I have chosen to share it for two reasons.  One is because it brings meaning to my struggle.  My pain will not have been in vain and it keeps the memory of those loved and lost alive.  The second reason, of equal importance, is so I might offer help and hope to other women experiencing the same loss.  Here is my story.

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Danielle

Mom to Angel Baby "Blueberry"

Miscarried at 12 weeks on October 5th, 2010

Fort Thomas, Kentucky

My husband said to me, "Maybe we could just let it go this once." He was talking about protection. We had discussed having a baby, I have two girls, and he had none. He always said he didn't want his own children. We had grown up together, and after 18yrs and my divorce we became a couple. I was so excited to try for a baby even though I had suffered from fertility issues in the past. I had a really good feeling about this.

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Nikki

Mom to Angel Baby "Wrinkle"

Misscarried at 12 Weeks on November 17, 2010

Port Orchard, Washington

I had been feeling lousy for nearly two months and hadn't had a normal period since August but I stopped nursing my son in July so it didn't seem too strange ~ it never occurred to me that I could be pregnant given our history of infertility. On October 27, 2010, we decided to take a pregnancy test simply to rule out what we already knew (i.e. that we were not pregnant).

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Wendy

Suffered a Missed Miscarriage on March 13th, 2009

Wayne, NJ

My husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby back in November 08. We started trying and by the end of January, i found out i was pregnant!! We went to our first doctors appointment and found out we were 6 weeks along. We scheduled our first ultrasound for 8 weeks. So 2 weeks later we went back and saw our little peanut on the screen. The heartbeat was there and strong. We were so excited that we shared the news with a lot of people.

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Rochelle

Miscarriage at 12 weeks

Northwest Arkansas

My story starts way back in the spring of 2006 while I was a nanny in New York City. I was invited to provide childcare at someone's homebirth. That is the day that my whole life changed. I witnessed that raw power of childbirth and knew right then that my heart was being called to serve childbearing women. I was an instant birth junkie and immediately began the certification process to become a professional doula. I started doing volunteer doula work when I moved back home to Arkansas and just surrounded myself in the natural birthing world. I already had babies on my brain despite having just turned 19 and being single.

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Melissa

Mom to Baby 'Cactus'

Lost to Miscarriage February 10th, 2010

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

My story can be told through a letter I wrote to my baby:

Dear Cactus,

It was a Wednesday. February 10th. We had our very first ultrasound scheduled, and you were supposed to be 12 weeks old. The night before, when I'd gone to the bathroom, there had been just the smallest amount of blood when I wiped - and I was really worried about it. Daddy kept telling me not to worry; that he was sure everything was fine. In any case, we had the ultrasound the next day, so there was no point in running over to the hospital - if something was wrong, we'd find out about it in the morning.

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