Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Rosebud

Mom to William Ryan Thomas Mete-Cooper

Born and died on November 21st, 2007

Aurora, Ontario, CA

It was July 23, 2007 and the stick was blue. I was so happy that me and my hubby were going to have a baby, something we had wanted and talked about for months. 

Everything was going good till i was 12 weeks along. I started bleeding and went to the hospital to see what was going on, I thought for sure i was going to lose the baby. That's what was going through my head at the time. The doctors came in and took some blood to see if my blood was attacking my hubby's blood because that would start a miscarriage. Thank God that wasn't it at all. So I got to go home and rest for a few weeks. That's what I did. 

I ended up back in the hospital the next month with the same thing and once again I was told to go home and rest. I really didn't know what was going on, all I knew was that was my baby's heartbeat was there and strong, and I keow he/she was ok. I went for an ultrasound at 15 weeks and it showed that i was losing fluid and the baby kidneys weren't growing right. So I did what the doctor's told me to do. I had to pee for 24hrs to see if it got better. And it did get better. So that was good to hear.

November 5, 2007 me and my hubby went to find out the sex of our baby. Something we had wanted to know since we knew we were pregant. I said it was a girl and he said he doesnt make girls, so it would be a boy. Well he was right, we were having a lil boy. Everything was going good, I was feeling great, my belly was getting bigger and I could feel him start to kick me, which was the best feeling you could ever feel from in side. I was in love with this tiny lil boy and couldn't wait to meet him.

Then on November 15, 2007 I woke thinking I had to pee so I went and there was nothing but I did see that my underwear was wet. I thought I peed myself, so I changed and went back to bed. I got up and went to work like I did every morning. But all day i still had that peeing feeling and I was wet all the time. So my hubby and I went to the hospital to see if my water broke cuz I was told that thats what it could be. So sitting there waitin for the doctor's to come in I was thinking, ok ill have a dry birth no big deal, everything was ok I still felt him move so I wasnt worried much. The doctor's came in and took a test and as the doctor was leaving I heard him say, " ya she broke something," then the OB on call came in and told me that my water did break and that I would lose the baby. Right there and then I was willing to give my own life if he could save my son. I thought I did something wrong . Why was god doin this to me? All I could do is cry. The OB wanted me to have the baby that night, but I said no I was going to give him the fighting chance to live becouse thats all I could do for him. 

So for a week I sat there getting blood taken every other day and hearing the heartbet everyday. And he would move around all the time. I thought just maybe he would make if I could go onther 4 weeks, they could try and save my lil man.

Well November 20, 2007 came and it was the wosrt day of my life. I went into labour. It started at 6:00am. I wouldn't let them rush it, Iwanted it to happen on its own because I knew at the end of this I wouldn't have my baby boy anymore. I last felt him kick at 7:00 in the morning. I thought I was dreaming, that I would wake up from this, that it was a mistake ,it wasn't happening to me. So by 6:00pm they put me into full labour. All my family was there with me and being strong for me. But all i could do was cry, I didn't want to see anyone. I wanted it all over. So at 12:32 am on Nov 21, 2007 William Ryan Thomas Met-Cooper was born asleep. I didn't get to hold him but I did get to see him.

 
Every year since then, I sit and think about all the time I had with him. I will always love and miss him very much.