Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Laci

Mom to Grace Ann, Stillborn August 27th, 2008

and Olivia Thay, August 28th, 2008 - October 4th, 2008

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

After struggling for three years to have a baby, my husband and I turned to in-vitro fertilization (IVF).  It was our only chance at this and since I was told my egg quality wasn't really that good, my fertility doctor transferred three eggs and gave me a 60% chance of having one baby. Two weeks later I had my blood test. I was pregnant. With very high HCG levels. Possibly more than one baby. Two weeks later was the ultrasound. Triplets. We were shocked but really excited. I always wanted multiples. 

My pregnancy went great. I felt wonderful. I was getting big. I was so happy. At 22 weeks we had our "big" ultrasound. This is the ultrasound we were most looking forward to. We would find out the sexes of our babies. This is the ultrasound that changed our lives.

Baby A was low. Very low. It's a girl. Baby B was stretched out along my right side. Feet pushing ribs. It's a girl. Baby C was balled up on my left side and very high, spinning and wiggling all the time. It's a girl. Our excitement was completely short lived when our nurse informed us that it appears I have a cord prolapse. I was immediately admitted to labor and delivery, put on complete hospital bedrest and my bed was put on an incline so that my baby would not put any pressure on her prolapsed cord or so she would not be delivered.

This was the worst news ever. Baby A had a cord prolapse. A baby cannot be born vaginally with a prolapse. The cord comes out before the baby and cuts off all oxygen. A prolapsed baby has to be delivered by Caesarean section. Not an option for me since I am only 22 weeks pregnant and obviously carrying more than one baby. The next day we attempted a cerclage to stitch my cervix closed so the babies would not be born. However, the cord would not go back in and a cerclage was out of the question. I would be in the hospital until the babies were born and we were hoping this would be at least 8 weeks. Baby A was now called Grace. She was hanging in there by the grace of God.

Two weeks later, I went into labor. I knew this was not good. I was only 24 weeks and one day pregnant. August 27, 2008. My angel Grace was born and went straight to the arms of God.  I couldn't believe that I had a stillborn. This doesn't happen to me.

The very next day my water broke. The babies were coming. It's too soon. I just knew I was going to lose all three of my girls.

August 28, 2008. That evening baby B was born. Betsy. Seven minutes later Olivia came.  Everything was happening so fast. By the time I looked back to my left, they were whisking Betsy out of the room. Olivia was soon to follow. They stopped and let me see her briefly. Her eyes were open. They were the brightest blue I have ever seen. She was looking right at me.

My sweet little Olivia was sick from day one. She had a perforated bowel. She had NEC. She had infections. Her lungs were in bad shape and she was on the oscillator which made her very edematous. Plus she quit using the bathroom which made her even more edematous. Looking back on things now, I know this poor baby never stood a chance. She was so sick but she was so strong. She never gave up. She was going to be so stubborn I just knew it. After 37 days of life, Olivia was not getting better. Things were looking very grim for her. Tony and I prayed for her and just wanted her to be at peace. On October 4, 2008, we took Olivia off all support and held her privately until she passed into the arms of Jesus.

We see our girls every day in our living miracle, Betsy. It's so hard to watch her grow knowing she is a triplet, has two sisters who she will never meet. Losing my babies was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I am stronger because of it, but will never, ever be the same. 

Laci blogs at http://laci-little-angels.blogspot.com/ 

You can contact her at laciperez@att.net