Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Erika

Mom to Tanner Ray Johnson

November 30th, 2007

Paw Paw, Michigan

We found out that we where pregnant in july 2007.  It was a shock because dr's told my boyfriend who is now my husband that he would not ever have any children. My husband is an over the road truck driver and I went with him when he was out.  

When we first learned something was wrong is when we got in from being on the road and I was cramping really bad. So we went to the closest hospital and they found the baby and a heartbeat but also i had a blood clot on my uterus.  The doctors said that everything was going to be fine.  Well at my 8 week appointment we never figured out my due date because I was so abnormal with my periods.  So I cramped on and off all through my first trimester and I also bled some.   

Well then I was on the road with my husband and i said to my husband that my water broke and he said that i was nuts.   I was only 16 weeks.  Well when we got back from the road i imediately called my midwife and went in to see her and she said no i wasn't leaking any water that i just was over producing discharge.  So i was like OK.  

The following appointment was an ultrasound just to make sure everything was okay.  Well, we went in for the ultrasound and she saw the baby and the heartbeat but then told us that we had to go back to the office to talk to the doctors.  When we went in to talk to the doctors they said that I definitely did break my water and that I was going to lose the baby.  They just couldn't tell me when.   

They first said that i could give birth to a live baby and then it would only live for a short time or i could try and carry this baby till 22 weeks and they would put me in the hospital and give me shots of steriods to get the lungs more mature.  THis was a few days before Thanksgiving that year.  A few days later i was up in the L & D because i wasn't feeling good and I still had a viable baby.    Well my husband had to go to work that weekend and he left on a Sunday and I really didn't want him to go but i knew he had to. And he called me asking me if everything was ok and I said yeah why, and he said no reason.  

I ended up bleeding that night and when I called the dr's the next day they told me that there was nothing they could do for me.  So I went in on that Wednesday and had an ultrasound and they confirmed my suspicions that I did indeed miscarry. It was gone for about 2 days by then. I ended up having to go talk to doctors and take some pill to get me to contract and was in labor for 11 hours and I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy.  I was 19 weeks along.   They don't know what I had but I know that he is in a better place.

You can contact Erika at erikajohnson28@gmail.com