Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Danielle

Mom to Sweet Pea 

Lost August 2nd, 2010

Dallas, Texas

July 21, 2010 is the first date that changed my life.  This was the date that my husband and I found out we were pregnant!  We were so excited, we had tried off and on for about 3 years and the timing just seemed so perfect.  The baby would be due at the end of March 2011 - right as our lives were falling into place again.  (My husband will be starting a new career in February and already has his first job lined up.)  Our families and very close friends were told and everyone was ready to help us start this part of our life journey.

 

July 30, 2010 is the second date that changed my life.  This was the date where I knew something was wrong with my baby.  I had been uncomfortable with bloating and dull achey cramps since the night before.  I convinced myself that this was just part of early pregnancy and continued with my plans for the day.  I show dogs and we were scheduled to be at a dog show.  It was an extremely HOT day in Texas, so I continued to chalk my growing discomfort up to the heat and the physical activity.  We were on a quick break and I went into the restroom and saw that I was bleeding.  It wasn't heavy, but it was red and it was definitely not the spotting I had experienced off and on.  My heart sank.  I tried to keep it together long enough to explain to my husband so that we could decide what to do.  Needless to say, we immediately left the show and headed home.  I spoke to my doctor's on-call physician and she advised me to take it easy and not to panic.  I was to go to the ER if the bleeding became heavy, but otherwise I needed to make an appointment to see my regular OB the next business day.

 

August 2, 2010 is the third date that changed my life.  I was scheduled to see one of the other doctors in the practice because my OB was out of town.  I went into the office at 230pm and went directly back for an ultrasound.  At this point, I was fully expecting them to tell me that I was experiencing a miscarriage.  The ultrasound tech was very quiet and after seeing nothing on the screen for several minutes, I knew the news wasn't good.  She finally said that she needed to use the transvaginal ultrasound device.  She almost immediately found my baby, but placed in my right fallopian tube.  She buzzed the Doctor to come in and quietly explained to both of us what she had found.  There was blood sitting in my uterus and in my tube, so they wasted no time scheduling me for an emergency laparoscopic surgery to remove my tube and my child from my body.

 

Devastation isn't enough to summarize my feelings.  Everything was a whirlwind from that point on.  Fortunately, I had my husband, my parents and my best friend with me before and after the procedure.  My Managers at work were very supportive and forced me to take the entire week off work.  I continue to feel this kind of love and support from our families and friends.

 

My husband and I are still grieving, but we are very hopeful that our turn will come.  Unfortunately, the doctors also discovered that I have fibroids inside my uterus which will require a second surgery before they will clear us to try to conceive again.  For now it's one day at a time - and a multitude of doctor visits.