Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Ashlee

Mommy to Aiden Kristopher
Born November 1st, 2008
Got his wings December 15th, 2008
Mesa, Arizona

My boyfriend and I were only 9 months into our relationship when I found out I was pregnant. I remember feeling happy and scared all at the same time, afraid of how he would take the news. Once I told him all scared feelings went out the window when a smile lit up his face. From that point on everything was going great, we found that we were going to have a little boy and we couldn't have been any happier. 

At 38 weeks I went in for an ultrasound and they said that he was really small and I needed to go to a high risk Dr and have another ultrasound and have an NST. I went and had the ultrasound and they said everything was good and that he was just on the small side the first NST went good as well. Later that week I went in for the second NST and was sent over to the hospital to have a 4 hour NST, I was contracting and his heart rate was dropping each time. I called my boyfriend he was out of town for work, I told him what was going on and that he may need to come home. I got to the hospital and did the 4 hour test and was then told that I was going to be induced that I was far enough along that he felt comfortable with delivering him. Daddy made it home and to the hospital in time, labor took some time but we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy weighing 5lbs 6ozs, he was little but so perfect. That morning I was taught the true meaning of love at first sight, I was a mommy truly blessed, life couldn't have been better!

The morning of December 15th my whole world came crashing down on me! I woke up and picked Aiden up, he was lifeless he was not breathing and I couldn't feel a pulse. I got my phone and called 911, they arrived very fast and began to work on him. They transported him to the hospital, I was taken there by the police officers that were there, when we arrived they sat me down that when the Dr. told me that he was gone it was the hardest thing I would ever have to hear that my son at only 6 weeks old was gone. I would no long be able to hold him in my arms, kiss him goodnight, feed or change him, I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I don't remember much after that it is all just a blur I was then taken to my neighbors house until my boyfriend who was out of state got home. They did tests and an autopsy on him, they found nothing wrong and ruled it as SIDS.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my little man, I know that he is up there watching over and protecting us. Aiden became a big brother on February 1st 2010 and I know that he has the best guardian angel that anyone could ask for.

Aiden mommy and daddy miss you and love you more then ever, you are forever in our hearts.
Until we meet again sweet angel! <3