Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Jill

Mom to 'Spud'

BFP on May 11th, 2010, no heartbeat found on June 15th, 2010

Marysville, OH

It started in 2004, when we were married.

Shortly after that, we dropped the birth control because at that point it was fair game, bought a house and practiced with little preventing.  In 2006, we joked with friends and family that would ask us, "are you pregnant yet?" saying that we weren't preventing, just practicing.


We joked about that for about 1 year, when I talked with my OB about not being able to conceive on our own.  After a few progesterone tests, an hsg, and an sa, we were diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility.

In 2008, we did 2 rounds of clomid, 2 progesterone tests and a laparoscopy for endometriosis and nothing proved to be standing in our way.  At that point, my OB couldn't do anything more so we were sent onto a reproductive endocrinologist.

Between 2009 & 2010, we did 4 IUI's.  One with tamoxifen, 2 with clomid and the last one (costing $1,400+) with Follistim.  All failed.

Then, we started trying with a Clear Blue Fertility Monitor hoping that with patience and hope, we'd become pregnant on our own.

It wasn't easy, but for everyday that we were not pregnant and I got to spend with my husband and animals alone, growing our love for one another, I was thankful.

It would work, someday, just not yet.

And then we got some great news….

On 5/11/10, we got a BFP.

On 5/24/10, we heard the heartbeat for the first time!

On 6/15/10, we found out that our baby didn't have a heartbeat.

On 6/17/10, it was confirmed by the tech at the dr's office and from there we were scheduled for a d&c.

When we found out on 6/17/10 that our baby didn't have a heartbeat at the dr's office, we also found out that it would've been 8w3d along and it should've been 9w4d.

On 6/17/10, I also had a d&c at around 5:30pm that day.  I was in the hospital for 8 hours just doing processing, paperwork, blood draws, waiting, the procedure and then recovery.

We're hopeful for what the future holds and now we're putting all of our efforts toward that.

After my d&c, my cycle showed up about 5 weeks later and it was unbelievable the amount of blood my body was passing.  I was put on progesterone to stop the bleeding and was told my bleeding would resume when a normal cycle was expected.  Ten days later, I was bleeding again and had to drive myself to the ER for fear that something was wrong.  Turned out that progesterone will sometimes start the cycle over again and that’s exactly what happened.

30 days later my cycle resumed and has been normal since.  We’re trying and staying hopeful, as best we can.

We know that we’ll accomplish a positive result again, when it’s time.  For now, we wait and remain positive.

Jill blogs at www.bambinoclark.blogspot.com 

You can contact her at happyhopefuls@gmail.com