Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Erika

Mom to Matthew Joseph Sabo

Passed away on May 17th, 2010 at only 20 days old

Corona, CA

On August 9, 2009, Matthew was conceived. We were all very happy to learn of my pregnancy. I couldn’t wait to find out the sex. The anticipation and excitement that I might be carrying our little boy was something that I cannot explain. A son would complete our little family.

When I was 14 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I went to an ultrasound place to find out the sex. I was so nervous, I felt sick all morning. Could it be my little boy?? Well, when the ultrasound tech said, “That looks like a boy part” we cried from joy! Our little Matthew would finally be a reality. Of course, I had Melissa post it on facebook…IT’S A BOY!!!! Haha

My 2^nd trimester was a breeze…I felt great and I was able to handle the girls, pregnancy, and all of my housework. However, when I was 29 weeks, I went to the hospital in a lot of discomfort. It turned out I was in preterm labor. I had to be transferred to a hospital with a NICU. I thought, this cannot be real. He cannot be born now. We can lose him! But he hung on. Then at 32 weeks, same thing happened again, but he hung on. At 36 weeks, I went into labor, but lil man didn’t want to come out yet. I was set to be induced at 39 weeks.

On Apr 27, 2010, I FINALLY welcomed Matthew Joseph Sabo into the world. He was absolutely perfect. One of the cutest little faces a mommy could lay eyes on. I felt such a bond with him.

When we brought him home, Samantha and Ashley fell in love with him as his daddy and I did. They gave him binkies and blankets. Worried when he cried or coughed. They loved their lil brother so very much.

I was a little picture-happy with him, haha. I couldn’t help myself. He was my new lil man and I wanted to cherish every early memory of him.

On May 17, 2010, Ashley awakened me to give her a cup of milk. My room felt very still and not right. That is when I found my lil man lifeless in his bassinet. How could this have happened to him? How will I go on without him in my life. I fought so very hard to keep him until full term and he has been ripped away from me.

We will never ever forget you my son. You brought us closer as a family and you were brought into our lives for a reason. Thank you for brightening 20 days of my life. You are loved more than you knew. I will see you again in heaven my son. At least your grandpa gets to be with one of his grandchildren. I know he is loving you up right now. Goodnight lil man. We love you.