Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Marissa

Miscarriage at 6 weeks on November 24th, 2009

Miscarriage at 9 weeks on February 12th, 2010

Miscarriage at 9 weeks on June 23rd, 2010

San Angelo, Texas

I found out I was pregnant with baby #3 the weekend before Thanksgiving 2009. We were so excited. We had been trying for 3 months. 2 days later I started spotting, then bleeding outright. We lost our baby 2 days before Thanksgiving. I was absolutely devastated. After a couple of weeks I managed to convince myself maybe I hadn't really been pregnant. That maybe the test was wrong.

Then on Jan 12, 2010 I realized I hadn't had a period since Nov. I took a test, and sure enought I was pregnant again. I immediately called my doctor and scheduled an appointment. By my dates (again I had convinced myself that I hadn't really miscarried in November) I was about 8 weeks when I went in for my appointment. I had a sonogram to confirm dates. The baby only measured 6 weeks. My doctor asked if there was anything that could account for the dates being so far off. I then told her of my suspected miscarriage 2 months earlier. She confirmed that I had infact had an early miscarriage. She assured me that it shouldn't happen again and not to worry about anything. I left the office feeling confident and with a picture in my hands and the sound of a heartbeat in my head. 

The weekend of Valentines Day 2010, I traveled to my parents house to spend time with my visiting Grandmother. On the evening of Feb 12, 2010, I began spotting again. I became hystarical. I called the on call hotline for the hospital in San Angelo. They told me, that at 9 weeks there was nothing to be done either way. They advised me to go to the ER in the town I was in and ask for a sonogram. I left my 2 girls with my dad and grandmother and went to the ER in the hospital that my mom works in. I managed to calm down and convince myself that everything would be ok. Even my pregnant nurse said that she had some minor bleeding in the begining of her pregnancies. I had a sonogram, but the tech wouldn't tell me anything. I got back to my ER room and proceeded to wait 2 hours for the results. The doctor came in around 1am to tell me that there had been no heartbeat, my baby had died that night. By that time I had started bleeding more heavily. I went back to my parents' house. The next morning I had to call my husband and tell him that I had lost another baby. 

I went back home that Saturday. On Sunday night I stood up to go to the restroom, when stood I felt this horrible gush. When I got the restroom I found I had lost the whole placenta, baby and everything in one fell swoop. I got in the shower to clean up, and realized I was pouring blood down the drain. I called L&D at the hospital and they told me to come into the ER. I continued gushing blood so fast that I had to change clothes 3 times before ever leaving the house. I walked into the ER bleeding all over waiting room. It took 5 hours to get the bleeding under control. I ended up admitted to the hospital. I didn't get any sleep that night. All I can remember is crying hysterically and having the sweetest nurse sit and cry with me.

Again my doctor said that this wasn't a trend and to start trying again after my next cycle. On May 29, 2010 I had another positive pregnancy test. I immediately called my OB's office to get in right away per my Dr.'s instructions. The receptionist wouldn't get me in for 3 weeks. We drove to Illinios for a family reunion a week later. The day we got home from our trip I again started spotting, and again I went to the ER. Only this time the staff couldn't have cared less about me. I sat in the ER exam room for 7 hours and didn't get a sonogram much less any answers. I had to come back the next morning for the sono. The tech said she saw a heartbeat and to get into my OB for more tests. 

I got into my OB the next day. First thing we did was another sono. Only this time not only was there no heartbeat, she couldn't even find the yolk sac. I had indeed lost my 3rd baby in 7 months.

This time my OB ran recurring miscarriage tests. A month later my tests came back normal. We still do not know what has caused my miscarriages. Now 8 months later I have yet to get pregnant again.

You can contact Marissa at marissa_templeton@yahoo.com