Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Shelley

Mom to Lainey

December 8th, 2010

Portland, Maine

My name is Shelley. I am from Portland, Maine. My daughter Lainey was born on 12.8.2010 at 20 weeks.


I had called my doctor the night before concerned about a sharp pain I had while walking. She had me come into the mommy/baby center of the hospital. I was there for all of 20 minutes when they told me the baby wouldn't make it through the night.

There was NO reason they could give me. I was 4 cm dilated and they said there was nothing they could do to stop it. I was told it was probably the best to just induce to deliver, but I decided to wait it out and that she would come when she was ready. Lainey made it through the night, and the next. We were hopeful, but not unrealistic. We were told even if I could keep Lainey in utero for 4 more weeks, I was likely to get infection before and have to deliver. When Lainey decided she was ready, they told me she would most likely be born without a heartbeat, or take a breath and pass away.

We were blessed with 3 hours with her before she decided it was time to go. She was 9 oz, and looked like a beautiful tiny doll. She held on to the tip of my finger while I held her. I am still in shock, I want to know WHY this happened to us. At my follow up appt. I was told there was no reason, and they could'nt figure out why I started to dilate. All my tests came back normal, so I am living with no answer :(  I was happy to find this site on Google...good to know I am not alone.

You can contact Shelley at shelibell30@gmail.com