Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Lavonne

Mommy to Two Angels

November 21st, 2008

and May 1st, 2009

My husband and I got married in June of 2008, in July of 2008 I was referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) because after a year off birth control I had only had two cycles. I was diagnosed with PCOS and was told I do not ovulate on my own. I was put on Clomid. I took it for two months, never having more than one follicle but at least that one was big enough I could take the trigger shot to ovulate. Both cycles failed. My third cycle on clomid when I went in for my follicle check my follicle was not big enough. They had me come in a few days later, and it still was too small for the trigger shot. So I decided to take a small break for a month or two. About three weeks after my follicle check I took a test one morning because I hadn't been feeling well and sure enough I was pregnant. We were over joyed and told everyone right away. 

Two weeks after we found out we were pregnant, late one Saturday night my husband rushed me to the ER because I had bleeding. They did an ultrasound and a hcg check and everything seemed to be fine. Although they told me I was only 5 weeks and I knew that I should have been further along than that. I had an appointment with my RE that following Thursday and the embryo still measured the same as 5 days before. So they drew my blood and my hcg had dropped significantly. That Friday November 21st, 2009 I had my first D&C.

February of 2009 we decided to start trying again. This time the RE recommended Letrizol Femara. Not used as much but he said it seemed to have better results in women who had problems with Clomid. He was right, I had two great cycle with more than one follicle. Unfortunately both cycles failed. And on the third cycle I called a day or two after stopping Femara and broke down and told the nurse I couldn't stand to have another ultrasound. So we were just going to forget this cycle and take a break again. I had realized that it was too soon since my first miscarriage and I wasn't ready for all the tests and ultrasounds already. Well as luck would have it we got pregnant on that cycle, and while out of town I realized I might be pregnant, and as soon as I got home I took the test. It was positive, and after a few blood tests (mainly just to easy my mind) everything seemed to be going great. We went in for our first ultrasound and the embryo was twice as big as the first one had made it and I was confident this was it. When we went in for our viability scan at 7 weeks to look for a heartbeat they once again said the embryo was measuring too small and had no heartbeat. I waited another two weeks and had another ultrasound before my RE suggested another D&C. So my angel stopped growing on May 1st, 2009 but I had my second D&C on Monday May 11th, 2009.

They did genetic testing and discovered I have chromosome translocation of the 1st and 13th chromosome. Which means that when my chromosomes break off to meet my husband's chromosomes the 1 and 13 chromosomes don't always break off the way they are supposed to and have a hard time finding their match. Therefore leading to a non viable embryo because of missing chromosome information.

Our chances for miscarriage with any given pregnancy is 33%. We decided that it wasn't impossible and as soon as were ready we'll start trying again and just have to know ahead of time that it may not work out. If we were able to afford IVF they could do pre-genetic testing before implanting the embryo's but that costs even more than regular IVF and is simply not an option for us. So we will just keep trying, and although we may have to endure more loss we hope that one day God will bless us with our miracle. 

It has been a long and hard road for us but we are blessed with family, friends, and doctors that have been nothing but supportive in our journey. We have faith that one day our patience, and perseverance will pay off.

Lavonne blogs at bluebookjourney.blogspot.com

You can contact her at lavonne0678@gmail.com