Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

 Joanne

Mom to Rebecca Marie

Born and died on May 7th, 2007

New Brunswick, Canada
 

I'm the mother to Rebecca Marie . My little angel was born 5 months too early. Here is my story that I'm now ready to tell.

Rebecca Marie was a welcomed angel that I wanted so badly. I had lost babies before through miscarriage however I knew that this little one was different from the rest. I found out that I was 3 months pregnant. I couldn't believe I had made it thought that first 3 months. I was really excited and wanted my baby girl so much. I called my husband at work. He didn't call me back right away, so I kept calling until he called back worried that something was wrong. I told him that nothing exactly was wrong but everything was right. I then told him he needed to come asap as there was something going on he had to see right then and there. He was home within the hour and ran in the door asking what's wrong what's going on. I said look. I showed him the pregnancy test I had just taken and it was the bluest plus sign we had ever seen. He looked at me and smiled and started crying which made me cry more. We were finally having our miracle baby. We decided that night that we could tell family after the Dr confirmed that everything was alright the next day. We went in for our ultrasound and kept on hoping for a healthy baby. We were told that we were further along then originally thought. We were then asked if we wanted to know what sex the baby would probably be. I looked at my husband and knowing the type of impatient person I am I said yes. We were told its a 90% chance of it being a girl. I started crying right away. I was then asked if I've ever had any other losses at any stage. I said yes twins at 26 weeks, multiples in the first 3 months. She said okay with that information I was going to be considered high risk. I pretty much knew that before I considered getting pregnant with my husband. We got pictures and pamphlets of information about classes and breastfeeding which I was interested in doing.

Fast forward to May 8, 2007.
 

I woke up to get ready for work. By this time I was 5 months pregnant and due to work only one more month before I was put on semi bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I went to the bathroom and was finishing up when I notice I had some blood on the toilet paper after whipping. I screamed for my husband and said some thing's wrong. We called my in-laws and asked for a ride to the hospital. We waited for about 2 hours as thing started getting worse. I had to go to the bathroom or at least it felt that way. Dr's took me back and gave me an ultrasound. I was then given the most devastating news anyone could ever get. I was losing my angel and there was nothing they could do.
 

Rebecca Marie was born May 8th, 2007 into her mother and father's loving arms. She took a breath once and was put on a breathing machine. We knew she wasn't going to make it as she was only 2lb 8oz. She was very sick and to young to take any major medication. We had our good byes and kisses and hugs and pictures taken with her wrapped up in blankets. At 8:02pm May 8th, 2007 Rebecca opened her eyes took on look at us and then shut her eyes and passed away.
 

The gift of her doing that is more then she'll ever know. Looking into my babies eyes is something that I'll treasure always. I love you my baby angel. You'll always be remembered by those who loved and knew you.
 

You can contact Joanne at joanne_sharpe@hotmail.com