Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Jennifer

Mom to Aidon William Pointer

December 12th, 2006

Marshall, Missouri

My son Aidon was born at 20 weeks on December 12, 2006 at 5:40pm. I had 4 first trimester losses in the years before I was with my husband but I was clueless to a lot of it then. I would find out I was pregnant then miscarry. 

When I married my husband, we had already been trying to get pregnant for a year, so after we married I went to a specialist because for some reason couldn't get pregnant with him. They put me on fertility drugs and the first month I got pregnant. We were so excited and so was my stepdaughter. 

Things went really good through the pregnancy, didn't have any problems until the week before I had my son. I started feeling like my water was leaking so I went to my OB who checked and told me no everything was fine, so I left feeling like there was something not right-- that was on a Thursday. 

Over the weekend my gut kept telling me to go to the ER but I decided first thing Monday morning I would go see the doctor. Well first thing Monday morning when I woke up my water broke. I went to ER they got me a room in OB and confirmed that my water broke and all we could do was hope he may stay in for a couple weeks then could send me to a bigger hospital with a NICU. But Tuesday evening at 5:40 Aidon William Pointer decided to come weighing 12.5oz 10 in. long. He had died going through the birth canal. 

I was so full of emotions I didn't know how to react. I held him for 4 hours before we decided to let him go and the hospital did pictures for us which was wonderful. I had heard stories of babies surviving that small and so I was full of questions and doubts. I know during this time I was so alone and felt no one understood. I think this site is wonderful to be able to post about our babies. So many people think you should go on and it just wasn't meant to be, or the one that would make me angry was the one when people said you could try again. For some that may never happen again and you can't just replace a child. 

We still keep pictures up of Aidon some it bothers that comes over others are open for questions which is nice to me. I like talking about him and showing ultra sound pics. Everyone heals differently but I find it nice when people wanna talk about him.

You can contact Jennifer at jjbullrider8183@yahoo.com