Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Miranda

Mom to Baby Bean

Miscarried on May 17, 2009

Lake Ronkonkoma, New York

My husband and I started trying to get pregnant the second we got married on October 31, 2008. We weren't putting much pressure on ourselves, just going about our lives and figuring eventually we would get pregnant.


On April 27, 2009 we found out we were pregnant. We were over the moon. The betas kept doubling and we thought we had our forever baby. We took a trip to the Dominican Republic with another couple and I relaxed and dreamed of my baby's future life the whole time we were there.

The day after we got home, May 17, 2009, the miscarriage started. I was 7 weeks pregnant. It baffled me at how efficient my body was in ridding itself of our baby. I did not need a D&C, my body took care of everything. It felt like such a betrayal. My body still betrays me to this day, as we are now having fertility issues.

I know in my heart that we will one day get a "forever baby" but no matter how many children we are blessed with in our lifetime, it will never take away the pain of the loss or the love that I still feel for that little baby.

Miranda blogs at http://lilanes.blogspot.com

and can be contacted at Mirlynn324@gmail.com