Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Jennifer

Mom to a baby boy miscarried at 9 weeks in October 2009

and Bethany Sara born sleeping August 8th, 2010

Minneapolis, MN

I miscarried my first baby in October 2009 at 9 weeks. The baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks, but I didn't start having miscarriage symptoms until 9 weeks. I had to have a D & C procedure to have the baby removed. It turned out to be a baby boy who had a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 15.

We started trying to get pregnant again about 6 months later in April 2010 and were successful right away. Our baby was due on January 3rd, 2011. The pregnancy was going well. I had a couple of ultrasounds early, due to my first pregnancy loss. The baby's heartbeat was nice and strong each and every time. She was growing nicely.

Then at 18 weeks I started having some cramping pains. I went into the emergency room where they sent me to the Maternal Fetal Assessment area. They determined that the baby was just fine and that I probably had some sort of UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). They suggested that I follow up with my doctor the following day, which I did. When I went to see my doctor, he determined that I did not have a UTI. He wanted to do another ultrasound to see if something else was going on. The ultrasound found 4 fibroid tumors, the biggest of which was 6 cm and about the size of a tennis ball. My doctor figured that my pains were coming from those fibroids and that I would have to be monitored regularly to make sure the baby was continuing to grow properly. No problem I thought.

But then, 4 days later, I started bleeding. I called the on-call doctor who thought it may be the fibroids bleeding. He recommended bed rest for the day to see if the bleeding would let up. He advised me to call with any changes in bleeding. About an hour later I passed a clot. I called the doctor again and at this point he wanted me to go back to the hospital to be checked. I had another ultrasound where they found that I was dilated. They believed I was in preterm labor and transferred me by ambulance to another hospital where a Perinatologist was on duty. Once I arrived, I was examined and the doctors determined that I was dilated to about 5 cm. They wanted to attempt a cerclage, which is a procedure to sew the cervix closed. In order to be able to undergo the procedure, I would have to lay "upside down" in the trendelenburg position for 24 hours to see if we could take some weight off of the cervix and reverse the dilation.

The next morning I was only dilated to 2-3 cm, however I had started leaking amniotic fluid. This meant that there was a tear in the amniotic sac. About an hour later the bag of waters started to deliver and it was too late to do any more. I was going to have my baby that day. I was 19 weeks at this point and the baby was not developed enough to live outside of the womb. They rushed me to labor and delivery, where I was induced. I gave birth to a girl, Bethany Sara, who was born "sleeping" at 5pm that day.

She was 8 ounces and 9 inches long. She was just beautiful and perfect. It's hard to believe that your baby pretty much looks perfect only halfway through the pregnancy. She even had a little mole on her upper lip. She had perfect fingers and toes and the cutest little fingernails and toenails to go along with them. She also had eyebrows already. It was just amazing to hold our little angel. We kept her with us for about 5 hours and then let her go.

The doctors believe that I have an incompetent cervix which caused the preterm labor. The fibroid tumors could have also played a part. For future pregnancies it is recommended that I have a cervical cerclage done between 11-13 weeks. We hope that this procedure will do the trick next time. The part that I think hurts me the most over losing Bethany is that she was a healthy baby who was thriving in my belly. Up until my induction, her heartbeat was very strong. My body was the problem.

I keep trying to look to the future and have hope that we can avoid this problem next time. After seeing our beautiful baby girl, we will definitely try again. Even though she was born sleeping, we had developed so much love for her - more than we imagined was possible! We hope to share that love with another child. My husband and I are doing well, but we sure do miss our little baby girl.

You can contact Jennifer at jkjornes@msn.com