Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Adrienne

Mom to Sofia Poppy Swanson

April 5th, 2010

Portland, Oregon

"How fortunate are you and I, whose home is timelessness:
we who have wandered down from fragrant mountains of eternal now
to frolic in such mysteries as birth and death a day (or maybe even less)"

        -EE Cummings

My pregnancy was picture perfect.  I was blissfully unaware of any possible prenatal health issues, let alone stillbirth.  I had never even heard the words 'placental abruption' before in my life.  That all changed on April 5, 2010.  

Labor started, contractions came hard and strong, baby was posterior and wouldn't turn.  The hours slowly passed and still no baby.  Her heart beat stayed strong until about 12 minutes before she emerged from my body; at T minus 12 there was nothing but silence.  Sofia Poppy exploded out of my body, silent and beautiful.  Unknown to myself and my caregivers, Sofia's umbilical cord was unusually short.  As she tried to make her way down and out of the birth canal, she could not help but tug on her cord.  Eventually, she pulled our placenta off of the wall of my uterus.  My uterus filled with blood, and Sofia lost her lifeline.  It is called a silent and catastrophic placental abruption.  No one could have known.  This was Sofia's path.

My path is to learn from my daughter.  Learn how to embrace life.  Live graciously.  Love fiercely.  Share our story.  Cultivate divine courage, freedom and joy.

Adrienne blogs at adriennemullinax.blogspot.com 

You can contact her at adrienne.mullinax@gmail.com