Thursday, September 30, 2010


Jocelyn
Mommy to baby miscarried July 2006
Mommy to baby miscarried December 2006
Mommy to baby girl miscarried March 2007
Monterey, California

My husband and I had been married for four years.  We had dodged questions for years of "when are you guys going to have kids?!".  We were just never ready.  We had always taken the right precautions to prevent pregnancy, and knew that when the time was right, we would start trying for a baby.  That time was our fourth wedding anniversary.  To our complete surprise, we learned we were pregnant right away.  We were so excited! I never believed in a million years it would happen on the first try.  We shared the news with friends and family, and carried on day to day with a huge smile on our faces.

Paula
Mom to Baby lost on October 20th, 2009 due to ectopic pregnancy
Smyrna, TN

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 9 years. One day I felt different and I just knew I was pregnant. It was confirmed and I have to say it was the happiest day I can ever remember with the exception of my wedding day. The picture that I have submitted is actually a picture taken the day I found out I was pregnant. It was such a blessing, our family and friends also shared in our joy because of the struggles we had. 

Susan
Mom to twin sons, Ryder Jansan and Levi Dominic
Born and Died February 28th, 2010 at almost 23 weeks
Houston, Texas

As a leukemia survivor, I always knew that I would require medical intervention to have children. My husband and I were so grateful for our son, Eli, born 1/2008 through IVF.

Valerie
Mom to Lorenzo Leόn Garcia
Delivered Sleeping November 19th, 2009
Austin, Texas

My son was stillborn 11-19-2009.  I was 24 weeks when we found out we lost our 1st child.  My head understands what has happened, but my heart aches despite all the facts.  I'm not sure of all the emotions, or (sometimes) the lack of.  I do things I think will make me feel better, but sometimes I feel worse?!?!  Its very confusing.  OH, and I work for a Pediatric Group-a daily reminder of what isn't!!  This being my 1st pregnancy I had so many expectations, maybe too many???  The ONE thing though that NEVER crossed my mind was losing my baby!  NEVER in forever would I have thought I would have been sitting here now, with a box of tissue by my side, writing to complete strangers about the loss of MY child.  As a mother (I am a mother, right?) it never crossed my mind that I might lose my child before he ever took his first breath!  I worried about (not) eating hot dogs and sandwich meats, and (not) drinking sodas, along with all the scary things that can happen in the BIG world, but never ever EVER this!  Our loss was due to placental abruption.  After 24 weeks of blissful pregnancy, feeling fantastic, never sick-my life came to a screeching halt!  Oh, how I wish I could turn back the hands of time, but would the outcome have been any different-could it have been worse??? 

Cassandra
Mommy to my Angel, Angelina Pearl Lucchese
Born December 29th, 2005 
Went to Heaven January 18th, 2006
Palm City, Florida

My miracle (birth control baby) daughter Angelina Pearl was born December 29th, 2005. She was absolutely perfect. I had to have general surgery @ 28w with her due to an infection. I went to the doctor on Wednesday December 28th and told the doctor I was tired of being pregnant and wanted to be induced on Friday. After being examined, he said I wouldn't make it and he would see me the next day. 

Kelly Doris
Mother to Baby due August 18th, 2010, Miscarried December 22nd, 2009
and Baby due December 3rd, 2010, Miscarried April 6th, 2010
Sparta, WI

After several months of fertility treatments I found out I was pregnant in early December 2009. I was excited. Blood tests confirmed also I was pregnant. Several days after the blood work all the pregnancy symptoms I had disappeared. I took an at home pregnancy test, and it was negative. The next day I had another blood test, and it was confirmed that I would miscarry. I miscarried at home the following day.

Lindsay
Mother to Sophia
Born still at 28 weeks on April 3rd, 2010
Central Illinois

In one day your whole world can change. October 12th, 2009, we found out that we were expecting our first child. On April 2nd, 2010, we found out that our precious daughter's heart had stopped beating. In one day we went from a thrilled, exhilarated expecting couple to a couple that had everything swept out from underneath them. In one day, I became a Mother and lost a Daughter.

Audra
Mom to Jack Benjamin
September 22nd, 2010
Columbus, Ohio

Our baby boy went to heaven on September 22, 2010. I can't believe that I can sit up at the computer long enough to type this, but here is our story:

I am 26, my husband is 30. We were overjoyed to find out 2 weeks after our wedding anniversary that we were expecting our first baby!! We did not expect it to happen so soon, so we considered ourselves incredibly lucky to have gotten pregnant so quickly. We do not know how two other people could be as happy as we were to be becoming parents. We knew that we were the happiest people on this planet, and we quickly began planning our baby's arrival.

Sarah
Mommy to Harper Lynn
Born Sleeping on July 12th, 2010 at 25 weeks
La Grange, Kentucky

December 2009: My period was ALWAYS 28 days on the nose, I was on birth control but for some reason I was late. I was happily married to my best friend and had two beautiful kids, Brianna and Kaden. I came home from helping a friend and told my husband I was late. It made him realize that he did want more kids like me. But soon after that I started. We made the decision to just not restart my birth control when I finished my period. 

Stephanie
Angel Baby 
July 2nd, 2009
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Funny thing life is...

May 28, 2009. The 14th anniversary of my dad's death. The preceding few months were extremely difficult for me emotionally. However, I am aware that life throws unexpected curveballs all the time and no matter how difficult they may seem, I always know I will come out on the other side. That day, I received some answers.

Story of HOPE

Tiffany Lopez
Mother of Genesis, 3/16/07
Tiffany's story of HOPE ~ Names on the Sidewalk and Genesis Birth Services

My daughter Genesis was stillborn March 16th, 2007 due to Anencephaly.  Her life has inspired me in many ways.  Because of her I have launched my own doula business, offered support to other baby loss mothers by writing their lost child's name, donated to my local hospital, I advocate folic acid awareness, I have participated in my local walk to remember and I am in the process of making awareness videos to help eradicate the taboo of talking about child and pregnancy loss.

My daughter has inspired everything.  Loosing Genesis has given me inspiration to do all the projects that I would have never attempted before. I have grown as a person and a mother. I have made some good come out of this horrible tragedy and which has made me feel that her death was not in vain.

Being that she was my first child I was that blissfully ignorant pregnant lady we all see smiling as she walks down the street. As a result of that and having my own doula present at the birth of my first rainbow, I decided to become a doula. I wanted to be able to educate the pregnant community, offer support to moms of all backgrounds, and especially through those going through hardships. It was loud and clear after I had my first rainbow that is what I wanted to do.

Some of the projects that I work on include writing angel names on the sidewalk.  This was inspired by other BLMs who also write angel names for those of us in the community.  I thought of a unique way to repay their kind act and established Names On The Sidewalk.  Another project of mine is folic acid awareness.  Because folic acid helps lower the risk of Neural Tube Defects (NTD) like Anencephaly, I have become quite knowledgeable about it and share it with the TTC community in order to avoid having them go through the heartache I went through.

Unfortunately, when I gave birth to Genesis there was nothing in place at the hospital to really help me get through this tragedy. I got a paper with her footprints on it and a pink blanket. I went back several weeks later to get the 1 and only photo that was taken to keep for my memory box. As a result I wanted other parents to have more resources available to them and I have donated memory boxes to the hospital where Genesis was born.  I am also in contact with the ladies in the perinatal loss department and pass on ideas and info that can help grieving parents.

I have seen time after time that more pain and injury is being added to grieving parents by the way they are treated and by the things people say. I am in the process of making videos for the non-baby loss community to illustrate how ridiculous it is to treat grieving parents the way they are treated.  I’m trying to make this contribution so that pregnancy and infant loss is not such a taboo subject.    

I used to be a quiet and reserved person with vary small goals. Genesis changed all that.  I say what needs to be said when it comes to pregnancy and infant loss.  I advocate for what is right.  I go out on a limb and take risks I wouldn't have taken before.  I have more confidence now because of her.  I would have never thought in a million years that I would have a business of my own and a website.  Now, I have several websites each with different purposes.  

There is always a road block, and it always seems to come from those closest to me.  Most of my projects and inspiration comes from Genesis, yet when I speak of her I get shot down a lot of the time.  I’m either ignored, ridiculed for speaking of my daughter, or even remembering her.  Often the subject is changed.  Because I am a single parent, I don’t have the support of a spouse or significant other.  It is just me, myself and I.   I have to push myself to the brink of burn out, but I keep going for Genesis.  

I believe that my work touches others in big and small ways.  Everything I do, I do with intention and purpose.  In regards to my doula work - I have given my services free of charge to several women.  Here in LA an experienced doula can charge upwards of $1200 per birth.  However, times are difficult for many moms and I often waive my fee in order to help those experiencing unemployment, divorce or single parenthood.  Another area that I would like my business to grow is helping parents deal with stillbirth and fatal prognosis.  

Names On The Sidewalk touches lives – it’s such a small gesture and yet it means so much to BLMs. Some have little or no memories of their child and I help add to their memory and scrapbooks and I love being able to brighten the day of a BLM if they are having a rough day. It’s therapeutic for me too to be doing this in Genesis' name.

Being involved in the hospitals perinatal loss department gives me a sense of comfort and peace knowing that once again I am doing this in Genesis’ memory and through my actions ~ her memory is being kept alive.

I am consistently inspired by Carley Marie Dudley and all the contributions to the BLM community she has made.  It has inspired me to make donations on August 19th Day Of Hope, she has inspired me to make awareness videos and to make just as big of an impact on the BLM community as she has. Seeing her special area (shrine) to Christian inspires me to make one in my own home regardless of what others may think.

A quote that inspires me is:  "When a baby is born; its mother’s instinct is to protect it.  When a baby dies, it’s the mothers instinct to protect their memory," - unknown author.  Everything I do is to keep Genesis’ memory alive and to not have her death be in vain.  



This is a photo that Carley Marie Dudley took of Genesis' name on Christian's beach. Her blog, To Write Their Names In The Sand, was how I found the BLM community. This was the first picture that I received with Genesis' name. It inspired me to help others and brought me peace. Genesis had inspired me to start all these projects but this was the push I needed to bring them all to life.

You can find Tiffany's story on Faces of Loss


Story of HOPE
Beryl ~ Be Young Photography
Mother of Bella
Stillborn 9/11/09


Our daughter Bella was born sleeping on September 11th, 2009, at 20 weeks, as the result of multiple birth defects.  After Bella's passing I followed my passion for photography and began a business photographing babies, children, and families.  

When we lost Bella last year I immediately felt strong feelings of loss, anger, misunderstanding, and being alone. On one hand I wanted to run and hide from the world, but on the other I just wanted everyone to understand what I was feeling and experiencing. I had developed an interest in photography when I became pregnant and was dabbling in the craft but after Bella's loss I took a HUGE amount of comfort with being behind the lens. I was able to use artistic expression to convey my emotions and I began a blog to put some words to those images. Shortly thereafter friends began to ask if I was interested in taking their photos which added a new dimension to my healing.  Hiding behind the camera lens allowed me to begin to interact and socialize again. Photography has allowed me to totally redefine my world.  It gave me a way to express my range of emotions and sparked an amazing opportunity to explore a new found hidden talent.  

For me the inspiration to explore a photography business was loud and clear. My initial interest in photography was sparked with Bella's pregnancy. I wanted to ensure I'd be able to capture phenomenal photos of her when she arrived. When I was pregnant with Bella I never even dreamed of pursuing photography as a business venture. Her passing screamed out to me to seize the opportunity to take photos in her memory. I was also overwhelmed with the importance of capturing family images and preserving memories ~ because you just never know what twists and turns life will take.  

I never thought I'd be able to find the time needed to improve my photography skills and develop a business plan. I talked informally when I was pregnant, about using Bella as a practice subject and maybe one day exploring the option of photography as a business venture, but it was really just a hobby at the time.  After the loss, I truly felt she was the angel on my shoulder telling me to go for it ~ pursue my passion ~ and explore something I wouldn't have had the time or energy to dive into if she was born healthy.

My "inner critic" gets in the way all the time!   I think that's what makes each photo session unique and forces me to improve each time.  I come away from every session proud of my images but always see room for improvement. 

Very shortly after our loss and after I began my blog, I had someone candidly share with me how impacted they were by my writing and images. This woman had also experienced her own loss almost 25 prior to mine and had never shared her experience with anyone else. She was inspired by my honesty and willingness to share my experience and it helped her not feel so alone in her loss from many years ago.  Her stepping forward and sharing her experience with me was humbling and she ended up being one of many women who stepped forward and shared their stories of loss with me over the next several months.  Making the choice to start my blog and my photography journey after our loss was all worth it when I knew it was having a positive impact on others and helping several woman not feel so alone in their own loss.

Over time my blog has evolved (much as my grief process as evolved) from a journal of photos and emotional reflection to a more business driven blog of client previews with occasional glimpses into my life after loss. I had to smile recently, when I was working with a new client on reviewing proofs of her 2 year old son and prepping her order. For me, sharing proofs with a client can be one of the most nerve wracking parts of the photo session process.  It's like sharing a part of your soul with someone and hoping they like what you have to give.  As she looked through the photos of her little boy and their family she loved them all and shared with me that out of all the photo sessions she had arranged for her son since his birth, my session was the one that managed to capture his personality the best. His little boy expressions, interests, love, and personality were all bundled up and packaged up for years to come via my images. That by far is the best compliment I can receive as a photographer and I have Bella to thank for inspiring me and allowing me to grow in my craft this quickly. 

One organization that continues to amaze and inspire me is the "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" photography community. Their mission is to provide free photography to those families suffering from infant loss, stillbirth, etc. The volunteer work of these photographers is an invaluable resource to those who are grieving and their work is helping millions of woman and families find ways to cope and heal. Right now our loss is still to fresh in my mind, but I am hoping to one day have the strength to work with this amazing organization.

An inspirational mantra that I have found helpful is the ‘Kindess Meditation’ (we would recite this in yoga class and it would get me through the tough days).  “May you be healthy and happy; may you be peaceful, prosperous and well; may you be free from inner and outer harm; may you overcome difficulty with grace, courage, and determination; may you love and be loved.” ~Author unknown~

The two photos above are self portraits I took during my grief journey, around the start of my business. The first was taken on Bella's due date, January 23rd, 2010.  I lit a candle in her memory and simply spent time in her nursery honoring her. 

The second photo was taken a few weeks later as part of a photography assignment where we were to sum up in a self portrait where we were on our life's journey in one image. I summed up my photo as being full of Ideas:  Dreams ~ Possibilities ~ Creativity ~ Emotion ~ Devotion ~ Compassion ~ Drive ~ Desire.  Eight months later, I am finally feeling those dreams and possibilities becoming realities.  I love having Bella guiding me the whole way.  It is invigorating and exciting!

To view more of my work with babies, children and families or to read the archives of my journey of grief and loss feel free to view my website and blog.


Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Carla
Mom to Jody Michael April 10, 2009 8:57 p.m. - 9:57 p.m.
Gilbert, Arizona
On February 4, 2009 our lives took a tragic turn after hearing the word "I wish I did not have to give you this news." That day we learned our son would not survive, he was classified as "not viable" a condition which is 100% incompatible with life. We learned our sons condition was caused by a rare genetic disorder called Autosomal Recessive Polycystic Kidney Disease (ARPKD).

Amber
Mom to
Elijah born August 27, 2010 at 14 weeks 2days due to Acrania
Hope Marie born still on July 25, 2009 at 13 weeks 5 days
Cumberland, Virgina


How the life of Elijah began.My dear wonderful loving boyfriend Justin and I were new in our relationship and not trying to get pregnant. However, we chose not to use birth control. When i mean no birth control I mean none what so ever, no pulling out, no condoms nothing. We were and still are madly in love. We had discussed having children in the future, we wanted to get married first.

Rachel
Mother to Michael Joseph Milner, Born Sleeping November 14th, 2009
and Mother to Hope, Miscarriage July 23rd, 2010
Kalamazoo, Michigan

I was so excited to see that second line on that little strip.  It was so faint but I was sure it was there.  My husband said he didn’t see it so I took a digital test and there it was in plain English.  We were pregnant.  We couldn’t wait to tell EVERYONE and we did.  We were blissfully happy and there were no doubts, everything was great.
Allyson
Mom to Baby Jackson
October 14th, 2009
Missouri City, TX

Matt and I got married on July 15, 2006.  We started trying to have our first child just shy of our 3rd anniversary.  I wanted to try sooner since I was already 35, but we decided as a couple to wait and enjoy being married for a little while.  On June 28, 2009, I had a pregnancy symptom and decided to take a pregnancy test.  It was positive!!!  Matt didn't believe it, but a line is a line, so I went to the drug store and bought a digital..."Pregnant"!!!  My parents were visiting that weekend and told them over lunch right before they left.  We told our immediate family and closest friends right away.  We were all so excited and was going to have the first grandchild on both sides of our family.  I love kids and wanted to be pregnant for as long as I can remember.  I even pursued a career to only work with children.  I called the doctor the very next day to make my first appointment. 

Jennifer
Mom to Lucas Benjamin
Lost April 1st, 2010 at 21 weeks
Humble, TX

We were starting all over! Our daughter Jade would be 17 and our son Vincent would be 11 when this baby would be born, but we were so ready. 

Maisie
Mom to Aaden Dean
Born still on July 7th, 2009
Logansport, Indiana

I had just turned 16 when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared I wouldn't be a good mom because I was so young.  I was scared I wouldn't be able to give him everything he needed, but as lucky as I am I had a wonderful set of parents who said they were ready to help raise my sweet baby boy Aaden Dean.  

Jessica
Mom to Eveline
Born August 30th, 2010 at 4:57 a.m.
Died August 30th, 2010 at 9:45 a.m.
Turpin, OK

When I was a little girl and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my reply was always “A Mommy”.  Years later my answer is still the same, although I am no longer that innocent child who doesn’t know of all the injustices in the world.  For I was once a mother and I suppose in all accounts I still am, although I have no child to call me “Mommy”.  This is my story, my journey through infertility and the loss of my daughter, Evie.  

Scarlett
Mom to Ayamé Ulloriaq, D&C at 17 weeks on April 5th 2010
Brighton/Southampton, England


This wasn't the first child I lost but things weren't any easier to face. I've blogged about this many times before, and I still don't know how to start.

Jayme
Mom to Raime Kailani, April 17th, 2001
Elora Jade, June 27th, 2006 - August 28th, 2006
and Connor Jackson, April 12th, 2007
Jacksonville, NC

Raime-

In 2001, not long after marrying my husband, I was pregnant with our first baby together, Raime.  My blood pressure was super high the whole pregnancy, and had me nervous.  At our 20 week ultrasound, she measured a bit small, and they couldn’t get a good view of her heart because of her size and positioning.  They had me come back two weeks later for a follow-up just to confirm she was growing and see if they could get a better scan of her heart.


Angie
Mom to
Tred, born still on June 5, 2008 at 21 weeks
Talya, born still on April 10, 2009 at 38 weeks
Twin Cities, Minnesota
 
I have had 3 healthy pregnancies so having any problems with pregnancy was never something we thought about. We found out I was pregnant in January of 2008 and at the time my husband was in a job transition so we didn't have insurance. I thought it had been a while since I had my AF so I went to the store and bought a home kit and it was positive, I also went to the free local clinic and took a test and that also was positive. I was so excited! We weren't trying but the surprise is always a welcome one. I called my DH at work and said "Are you sitting down". I told him "We're pregnant". He couldn't believe it. He was excited and scared as I was. We weren't trying and it just happened. This has happened with all of our pregnancies except one. I started my prenatal vitamins and was on cloud 9 because I was going to have another baby!! I loved being pregnant!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Yvonne
Mom to Matthew Christopher Joye 
 Born on January 10, 2003 and died on January 11, 2003
Dublin, Ireland


My name is Yvonne Joye, I am 41 years old and eight years ago we lost our fourth child and third son Matthew, 24 hours after his birth.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Beginning ~ Stories of Hope

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope has connected us to one another in amazing and intimate ways.  Loss has a FACE…shouldn’t HOPE? 

Hope is often what we loose when a baby dies.  It isn’t supposed to happen, not in this advanced time of medicine and technology . . . but as we all know from personal first hand experience, it does. 

The work of grief is hard ~ it never really ends, but is rather endured as time marches eternally on.  Sometimes though, something special can come from the devastation.  Sometimes, even the smallest stride is taken when a person chooses to make a change for either personal or greater good after the loss of a baby.  Weather it is a personal goal or triumph, perhaps something a bit larger or more global ~ we want to know about it! 

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope is boldly taking the next step with a weekly feature spotlighting Hope.  You now can share how you’ve chosen to embrace Hope and mold it into something that inspires others.  No matter what your story is, we would like to hear it.  Hope can take on any form and we want to feature those who have found Hope in the face of Loss.  You can be a face of HOPE!

The pain doesn’t end, but hope can still be found.

Please consider submitting your Face of Hope story here (a few of you already have, and those will be posted shortly!).  Sharing your experience can make a difference.

And because I am so pleased and honored (did I mention excited?) to be part of this amazing organization ~ I want to share my story of HOPE first . . . along with a give away for $75 store credit to Beyond Words Designs.   Participation is easy and will end at midnight on Oct. 2nd ~ simply visit the gallery page on the link above and then leave a comment letting me know what you think here (on this post).  One lucky person will be randomly chosen on Monday, October 3rd!


Story of HOPE


Stephanie ~ Beyond Words Designs
Mother to Amelia Rose
Stillborn on March 11, 2010

 
My daughter was stillborn after fighting a genetic disorder that we were told would kill her at any time. She was diagnosed with a rare form of Turner's syndrome at 24 weeks gestation. We spent the rest of my pregnancy (16 weeks) celebrating her life and preparing for her death. 

I have started a small business in honor of Amelia, called Beyond Words Designs. I began this to offer parents a way to memorialize their child.

I began Beyond Words Designs during the final weeks of Amelia's pregnancy and it helped me focus on something outside of loosing her. It gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. Knowing that I could help families by creating unique art as a way of honoring a child has kept me from falling completely apart.

There are still numerous dark days ~ days where I swear I am standing on the edge of the abyss ~ feeling as if I may fall in and never return...but somehow, these days are fewer and fewer as time marches on.

I was inspired in the quiet of an evening ~ like any other, to paint Amelia's name and the things she meant to us on canvas. I wanted a show piece that would have a prominent place in our home and would be seen by not only us, but all who entered. I wanted everyone to know that it was alright to speak Amelia's name ~ we NEEDED to hear it...to hear the name of my child spoken by someone other than me meant that she was real, she was here on earth ~ even if for the briefest of moments. 



In one moment I knew that I must make this piece for my daughter and that it may touch more people than just those who walked through our doors...that it may indeed have greater appeal. 

I have always wanted to share my work, but honestly never believed that it was possible. Amelia's life had taught me that moving forward is really the best thing I can do when an idea comes.  My inner critic never shuts up, but in those rare moments that I can ignore it, something special usually happens.

I now have the incredible honor of knowing that each piece I paint has a LIFE that it celebrates.  My art has become a vehicle for healing, remembering,  honoring, memorializing, and loving ~ what an incredible lesson my daughter has taught me!  My work has grown and evolved from this original idea and has expanded in ways that I never originally dreamed.  I paint more than I ever thought I would which has allowed me a kind of healing that comes from creative freedom.  


I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to listen to your inspirations ~ your gut feelings ~ your ideas.  The whisper that you ignore today just may touch someone's life in unimagined ways tomorrow if you let it.


Amelia's story can be found on Faces of Loss
Stephanie's blog is Carried Through Grief



Andrea
Mom to Maaike Rose 
Born still October 27, 2009
Patterson, CA
 
I “officially” found out I was pregnant on May 6, 2009. Of course, I knew I was pregnant before I went to the doctor - they just confirmed my fears. I was scared and had no idea what I was going to do. I was raised to be pro-life, and I was wholeheartedly...until I was faced with that choice. I didn't think I could face the shame that I was sure would be coming. I set an appointment for an abortion. About four days before I was scheduled to go in, I had the overwhelming urge to tell my cousin that I was pregnant. Being a person of faith, I took that urge as a bit of a divine intervention. Once it was out, that was it. I knew that I could not kill the life growing inside me. I was going to have a baby.



Carla
Mom to Miscarriage at 10 weeks, May 2001
Miscarriage at 6 weeks, November 2001
Delia lost to Anencephaly May 30, 2010
Kent, Ohio
 
My husband and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary in January. Our first year together we lived through 2 miscarriages. A missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in May, and another miscarriage in November at 6 weeks. We were worried that we would not be able to have children so we asked for tests to find out what was happening. I was diagnosed as having a MTHFR mutation and lupus anticoagulant disorder. We were told a daily shot of heparin should prevent any further problems. We were terrified to try again... so we waited, and then 4 years later and lots of needles in my belly, we had our first child. Sophia was born healthy and perfect after the longest 9 months I could imagine. Another 4 years and a switch to Lovenox, we had our second little girl, Polly.

Cally
Mom to Baby Boy lost July 26, 2007
and Serenity Morgyn 
July 11th, 2010
Talladega, Alabama
 
July 2007, I had been on what I thought was my period for about 2 months. I didn't think much of it because I have irregular periods. One day I started cramping really bad. Shane called the ambulance and I was taken to the ER. To make a long story short I was pregnant, and having a miscarriage. They did a DNC and cleaned me out. I was devastated. I had never thought about becoming a mother before, but this changed the whole game. I had been pregnant- and didn't even get to have my baby! Life was NOT FAIR!


Dawn
Mom to Luke Michael
April 7th, 2010
and Baby #2, October 4th, 2010
Atlanta, Georgia

  In 1987, when I was about 7 years old, I attended my cousin's funeral. My mom had explained to me that my cousin, Amanda, did not have a normal brain and therefore passed away in her mommy's tummy. I wasn't phased by this information; rather, I was more interested in the funeral ending so I could go play on the church's playground. Little did I know that 23 years later, I would be told that my son had the same fatal birth defect that claimed Amanda's life. Lightening struck twice in our family.

Misty
Mom to August Angel baby
lost on January 19, 2010
Dayton, Ohio
 
My husband and I always said we would start trying to have a baby after 2 years of marriage. When the time came I was so excited, but I was afraid that things weren't going to be easy. I have endometriosis, and I've had several surgeries to remove it and tried different therapies but it always seemed to come back. After my last surgery in late 2008 my doctor said that things didn't look that bad, but I should try to get pregnant soon.

Shanna
Mom to Baby Chess, Miscarried on May 12, 2010
Eugene, Oregon
 
I have always wanted children...at least as long as I can remember. Even with my first pregnancy when I was 19, I originally did not want to be pregnant, but I immediately loved that baby the second I found out I was pregnant. After that miscarriage, I had horrible fears about not being able to conceive or to ever be able to have children of my own. Once I had known John for 3 months, I knew he was the one. I knew I loved him, that I would marry him, and that we would make beautiful babies together. It had been years since my 1st miscarriage, and even though I still had that fear of not being able to have children, I told myself that everything would be great. John and I were so happy. We had great careers, we were doing well financially, we had a house, and we were so great together that we knew we would only get better once we started a family. I felt confident and excited about starting a family.

Rebecca
Mom to Jackson Carl
born still on October 19, 2009
Littleton, Colorado
 

It was a beautiful day on Oct. 18, 2009 -- unseasonably warm too. About 80 degrees as I recall. My husband, Brent, and I dragged out our comfy lawn chairs to our deck and enjoyed a Sunday afternoon sitting in the sun and relaxing. I was furiously trying to finish "Baby Wise," a book to give mom and dads great hints on how to get your baby to sleep. That was the most I was worried about that afternoon -- how my newborn would sleep. I knew the baby would be coming anytime, and of course, I wanted to be prepared.



Mary
Mom to Baby Autumn and Baby Spring
2009
Wisconsin


My husband and I got married in September of 2003. We didn’t have any immediate plans to start a family. A few months before our 5th wedding anniversary we talked about it and agreed that I would stop taking birth control that December.
Megan
Mom to Baby Cassanova, miscarried on May 5, 2010
Hermosillo, Sonora, Mexico
 
I met my husband in September 2008 when I moved down to Hermosillo, Mexico to teach ESL for a year. We met at church my first week here and immediately hit it off. We got married in December 2009. We initially had decided to wait one year before trying to conceive. But we also kind of took the ¨we´re not going to do anything to prevent it, so if it happens, it happens¨ approach. Lo and behold, 4 months into our marriage, I got pregnant. I felt so blessed and was so thankful that it happened so quickly. I was thrilled. Abe was more nervous and scared. But either way, we were happy and excited.

Christine
Mom to Emma Gayle born still on February 5, 2006
Baby Girl Wright Miscarried on March 1, 2010
Fredericksburg, Indiana
 
Many of you have asked " What happened to Emma?" and I had written a story about my loss and have shared it many countless times in hopes that people come to realize that it is my grief journey and that I am here always for those of you who have gone through a loss. You see a loss is not just a miscarriage a loss is your whole world. TO me a loss is a loss no matter how far along you were. Hopes, dreams, love shattered. I want to share it...I think I have been healing through it and I hope that my light will shine in the darkest of days for those who are feeling alone in it.SO here is the story I have shared and I pray it may bring comfort to those who have gone through it, hope for the future and also understanding of who I am today and what I have gone through to get here...GOD IS MY STRENGTH!

Ashley
Mom to Rory Mae, July 27, 2010
Seattle, WA
 
My husband and I had known we'd wanted kids, many kids if we could have them. Almost three months to the day before our wedding, I discovered I was pregnant. Shock turned to fear which quickly turned to joy and excitement, anticipation, thrill. As time passed we planned, budgeted, announced to a handful of friends and family that I was expecting. We'd planned a natural birth and I was being watched over by a midwife, independent from a hospital. I didn't have many pregnancy symptoms and I was thankful for it.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Faces Merch Available Now!

Hey everyone!


We are super excited to share our new Faces Merch Store with you all, just in time for October 15th, Pregnancy/Infant Loss Remembrance Day! All the available items are perfect for spreading awareness!

Click here to check it out!

Right now, shipping is free on all orders (but only until tonight at midnight!)--use code FREEECONSHIP.

All proceeds will go right back into providing support to women who have experienced Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss, including printing new resource/support booklets for hospitals!


Most items can even be customized with your child(ren)'s name(s), date(s), etc. Here's how:

1. After clicking on the item you want to personalize, click on the 'Customize it' button:


2. Decide if you want to add text to the front of back of your item (we recommend the back!) and click on 'add text' over on the right-hand side:


3. Type the text you want to include, and choose the color you would like it to be in:


4. Click 'add to cart,' and you're all done!

You can also get any shirt style you want (including many that are not featured in our store) with any of the logo/designs printed on it. To do this:

1.  Choose the logo/design you like and click on any item that has it (ie: the basic Faces of Loss logo, one of the 'I am the Face' logos, etc).

2. Then, click on 'see all...' next to 'choose your color and style':


2. Next, scroll through and pick the style you want to order, then click 'done' (the basic tee goes up to a 6X):


If you have any questions, or need any help customizing your items, just email us at info@facesofloss.com. Thanks so much for your support! xo

Friday, September 24, 2010


Jennifer
Mom to Zachary and Madison
Born and Died November 13th, 2009
and Baby March, Miscarried July 25th, 2010
Levittown, NY

My husband and I got married in March 2003 and started trying right away to have a baby. We both wanted a few kids and were so excited I thought it would happen right away. After a year of no success I went to my dr and didn't get much help just got told I'm young (was 24 at the time) and to keep trying. 

Athena
Early Miscarriage at 7 weeks on June 13th, 2008
Sidney, Australia

A Journey of Loss and Hope and a little Miracle
I’m lying on a squeaky bed. I can feel the metal bars across my back on the worn out thin mattress and I can smell the crispness of potent detergent in the sheets. I am being rolled along a corridor and all I can see is the dirty sealing and the lights flashing as I go past. I hear people dash from door to door; their blue, white and pink uniforms flash before me. One of the lights somewhere needs its bulb changed as all I can hear is the buzzing and buzzing, fading, fading. Welcome to day surgery Athena. The first operation in my life, ever. I was always a healthy kid, even as adventurous as I was; I never had any bumps or broken bones. But today at 32 years old, I was having a laparoscopy. In layman’s terms, 4 probes. One through the belly button, 2 above the groin and one conveniently in my vagina. One of the probes was thick enough to have the tiniest of cameras attached to it. My Fertility Specialist wanted to take a look inside my uterus and see whether there was anything to explain my infertility. Infertility - the word I had become quite accustomed to now for nearly 2 years. Today though was not the happy ending story. There’s another 4 years to this tale of eventually holding my child in my arms.

Kelly
Pumpkin lost December 17th, 2009
Little Longhorn lost June 23rd, 2010
Fort Hood, Texas

My husband Justin and I got married in August of 2008, and we were so happy to start our life together! In January of 2009, Justin decided to join the Army, and I couldn't have been more proud of him. He went off to Basic Training, followed by 4 months of technical schooling. During his time at school, I spent my weekends making the 4 hour drive to visit and to try to start our family. We did the best we were able to with having no control of our schedule! In September of 2010 we moved to our first duty station - Fort Hood, Texas. It was the start of a new chapter for us, and we were so ready for whatever came our way.

Peggy
Eight First Trimester Miscarriages
Farmington Hills, MI

I will keep this on the short side because it is a story that spanned 9 years. We found out we were pregnant for the first time in December of 1998 after being married for just over a year. Since it was December, we figured Christmas was the perfect time to tell our families and we were so excited and bursting to tell them. 

Thursday, September 23, 2010


 Betsy
Mom to Baby November
Baby March
and Baby August
Denham Springs, LA

After five happy years of marriage, my husband Jason and I decided that it was time to expand our family.  Boy, were we surprised when I got pregnant immediately!  I got my BFP on a Saturday morning.  We and I were both standing in the bathroom, watching as the two lines began to materialize on the test.  We were nervous but excited!  I called my OB and scheduled my first appointment.  It was basically a consult visit.  I remember sitting in an office to find out what insurance would cover, then having bloodwork drawn.  I signed all sorts of forms.  We left with hospital information packets and formula samples.  We were on Cloud 9!

Jennifer
Mom to Angel Baby Harlan
November 30, 2009

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby nearing for well over two years. Everyone around us was having no difficulties in conceiving. After many frustrating months filled with disappointment, I finally saw those two beautiful pink lines on October 9, 2009. We finally were expecting our long awaited bundle of joy.

 
Bryce
Mom to Kaden Nathanie
May 1, 2010
Sacramento, California



March 10, 2010: It was a Wednesday morning, when I started thinking. I thought about how I had been having a hard time making it from breakfast to lunch without a snack in between. I thought about how I had recently felt the need to nap everyday with my 8 month old. I thought about how I had cut back to 1 cup of coffee in the morning instead of my usual 3. Then I thought about the last time that all these things happened...so I took a pregnancy test. I had to take 2 tests before I truly believed, I'm pregnant...again! This was an unexpected, but nonetheless, exciting surprise. Once we got over the initial shock and worry of having a 16 month old and a newborn, we were nothing short of ecstatic about the new baby we would soon welcome.
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