Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mommy to my Angel, Angelina Pearl Lucchese
Born December 29th, 2005 
Went to Heaven January 18th, 2006
Palm City, Florida

My miracle (birth control baby) daughter Angelina Pearl was born December 29th, 2005. She was absolutely perfect. I had to have general surgery @ 28w with her due to an infection. I went to the doctor on Wednesday December 28th and told the doctor I was tired of being pregnant and wanted to be induced on Friday. After being examined, he said I wouldn't make it and he would see me the next day. 

At 2am, I went into labor and she was born at 9:27am. On January 18th, 2006, I was feeding her in the bed with me. I sat her down next to me to take a break. I took a phone call from my husband and that was the last thing I remember. I woke up in a hospital with nurse and doctors and police all around me. I still remember the doctors words "your daughter was brought in not responding and despite our best attempts, we were unable to revive her". I was in shock, I didn't know what happened. I was told that I suffered several seizures (no history of them) and during the seizures my blood sugar dropped (type 1 diabetic for 15yrs). They said that during one of my seizures I rolled over on her and she suffocated under me. I was heartbroken. I was grilled by police accusing me of not being able to handle motherhood and saying I suffocated my daughter and faked me medical episode. I asked to see my daughter and they said ok, but if I touched her I would be arrested for contaminating a crime scene. My daughters body was then considered a crime scene. I went home and made the arrangements to cremate her and sadly no one came to her funeral but me and my husband.

In March 2006, I found out I was pregnant again after my birth control failed yet again. I went to the doctor and confirmed my pregnancy. My husband and myself were not married at the time. My husband thought it was too soon after losing Angelina but I thought it to be a blessing. We separated for a few months. In August 2006 I moved to New York 7.5 months pregnant. My son Charles was born November 15th, 2006 after having an emergency c-section due to his heart stooping.He is now 3 yrs old.

In August 2008, I found out I was pregnant yet again with birth control. After a very eventful pregnancy including a car crash at 36w, my daughter Vanessa was born April 22nd, 2009. She is already one.

My daughter Samantha who I adopted is 9 yrs old. She often brings Angelina up and I can tell she misses her very much. Samantha is a very strong girl but misses her sister very much. Charles and Vanessa never got the pleasure of meeting her.

I also lost my niece Serenity Jade on September 19th, 2007. She was 2.5 yrs old. It was said to be a crib accident but investigation on my part and the police's part shows otherwise. She was my baby that her life ended far to soon due to a negligent mother.

I miss both Serenity and Angelina everyday. My husband wont discuss either of them due to I know he still places blame on me. I blame myself for Angelina's death and after 4 yrs it is still hard. I have learned that the pain never really leaves, it just gets easier to get by each day without crying.

You can contact Cassandra at 


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