Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mom to Baby Wells, January 24th, 2003
and Avery Gayle Wells, July 13th, 2005
Tomball, Texas

In 2002 we decided to have another baby. My youngest of 2 had been such a handful that we waited awhile to have another. Nov 02 I stopped taking my bc pills. We figured we'd give it some time to get them out of my system and then aim for getting pregnant in January. We wanted an October baby!
I ended up getting pregnant right away and the baby was due in August. Around 8 weeks I started spotting and at 10 weeks Jan 24, 2003, I miscarried. I cried for months. Actually I cried till I got pregnant again in June 03 and on March 15, 2004 I gave birth to a perfect little boy.. Max!

A week before Max's first b-day I found out I was pregnant again. I had still been nursing him so I wasn't on pills.  Funny thing was we had gotten pregnant in Jan and didn't even know it till I'll admit we weren't really happy at first. My first 2 kids were 17 mos apart and we couldn't believe we had did it again. But of course we got excited, especially when we found out it was another girl(through my whole pregnancy with Max they told us he was a  We we're also getting our Oct baby! We were already planning the Halloween b-days!!  We went to an ultrasound place and had an ultrasound. They told us it was definitely a girl. I'll never forget...when the lady had the wand looking at her head(for hair)...she actually looked up at the wand.

The pregnancy was going fine. I never had any problems.When I was 25 weeks along it was on a Friday, July 8, we were eating at a Mexican restaurant for my Moms b-day. I was drinking coke and eating salsa thinking..hmm she should be moving a lot more. Saturday came and I didn't think much about it. Then Sunday I was in church and a lady was asking about her..I just had this feeling ..what if?. Mon July 11..I knew. I called the dr and we went in. He tried the doppler but was only getting my heart. The u/s showed us what we had feared...she was gone.
I couldn't believe this was happening to me..not us. The worst part was the Dr said she was only measuring 24 weeks. How could I have not known!!! How did I not know she wasn't moving?

 July 12 2005, my husband and I drove to the hospital, I don't think we even said a word to each other. When I got there the nurses were like angels. They were so sweet,and kind. They made sure I had no or little pain at all. They placed me in a room away from everyone and put a flower on my door. I guess that was the sign for a loss. 
July 13th when I would have been 26 weeks pregnant at 11:30am Avery Gayle was born sleeping. She was 1. 8 lbs and 13 in long.She was perfect! She was beautiful!  It had been a cord accident!! The very thing that was supposed to give her, oxygen, blood..had wrapped around her leg 3 times.  We were relieved and devastated at the same time. We KNEW why she had died, but of all the things!  We held her and cried. I remember holding her little hand and thinking how I will never feel it wrapped around my finger.
I have so many regrets about that day...we didn't take enough pictures, I didn't hold her long enough...I didn't kiss her little face..I was so afraid of hurting her..she was so tiny!

It has been 5 yrs since she left us. I still miss her like crazy, I still cry, and still find it unbelievable when I see her name on the headstone at the cemetery.
But I have found peace too... and know that one day I will hold her again.


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