Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Mommy to an angel baby
October 8th, 2010
Lancaster, Ohio

On August 23rd 2008 I married my high school sweetheart and my best friend.We have been together for 7 years and married for 2 of them. I have dreamed of being a mommy since I can remember! When my husband Jeremy and I got married we always knew we wanted children but we decided to wait a year or two and enjoy our marriage! We finally sat down and talked about having a baby, we decided it was time. 

In September we tried for a baby and in the same month I got pregnant! I took 5 pregnancy test on Oct 1st, I know, crazy, but I could not believe it! I took one of the digital test that actually say "pregnant" I was looking for the word "not" in front of it! I was so excited and happy. My husband was at work at the time I found out. So i decided I wanted to make him a special dinner and I went and got a onesie that says "I Love My Daddy". I wrapped it up and gave it to him! He could not believe that I got pregnant so quick! We were over joyed!  We wanted to wait to tell everyone until I went to my first Drs. appointment. I almost couldn't contain myself with the excitement! 

On October 7th I started to bleed heavily. I called my dr in a panic and she told me to go do some blood work and I was suppose to rest for the rest of the day! The next day, Friday Oct 8th, I went to the emergency room and thats when I had lost my baby! As I sat in the hospital room, I cried and cried. My heart was shattered into a million pieces! I felt like it was a nightmare and I couldn't wake up! I just could not believe how one minute I am excited about being pregnant and about having a baby and the next minute it all got ripped away from me! 

Some days are better then others but I am doing a little better at dealing with the pain. I'm not randomly sitting in the middle of the floor crying anymore.  My husband is upset but he doesn't want me to see him upset because hes afraid it will upset me even more! He has been amazing through all of this and I could not have married a better man! We hope to try again soon and pray for a very healthy baby the next time around, but I will never forget my angel baby. We have to stay positive and have faith and hope. 

You can contact Jessica at


Julie - Kamloops, BC, Canada said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss - With my first miscarriage, I lost my angel only hours after I found out I was pregnant. Its amazing how much you can love someone you've never even met and only known a few moments.
Its been 2 months since my second miscarriage, and I still have moments where I break down. I don't think my husband knows what to do with me either -- they think their job is to protect us, and when they can't, its hard on them too.

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