Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Melanie

Mom to Sienna Jeane

Stillborn on January 7th, 2010

Amelia, OH

My story begins on the morning of January 7th 2010.  I was 31 weeks pregnant.  We were scheduled for a Level 2 ultrasound because of my fluids being on the low side since my 23 week ultrasound appointment.  We were the first appointment of the day and thought nothing of it when the tech said she was going to go see if the doctor had arrived.  They returned to the room and began looking around again.  After about 10 seconds the doctor said “that’s enough, I don’t know how to say this, but I am sorry, your baby has died".  Those words will never leave me.  I called my dad and hearing him on the phone was heartbreaking. Everyone was on their way.

I had just seen the doctor 9 days before and everything seemed perfect.  I would be induced by 11 am. They took me down to the corner room at the very end of the hall.  I know now this was so I wouldn't be around any other women in labor. They also took 20 vials of blood for testing.  It took 6.5 hours to get to 10 centimeters.

 

Sienna Jeane was born about 11:58 pm on the 7th of January, weighing 2 lbs 13 oz. and 15 3/4" long. There were four of us in the room.  We were all in tears and my doctor kept telling me, this will not happen again.  Our nurse took Sienna to the scale and wrapped her up.  

 

I took her and my world changed in that instant for the good and the bad.  I have never felt love so intense and so fast.  This was by far the proudest moment of my life. I held her and stared at her; I kissed her and told her how beautiful she was.  We spent 18 unforgettable, wonderful hours with her.  We bathed her, clothed her & told her how much we loved her.  She was just so beautiful and we didn't want to let her go.  She had the same round face & chubby cheeks like her mommy, long fingers and toes like her daddy and a head full of strawberry blond hair.
 
We spent the next week planning the memorial service that took place on Saturday, January 16th. Together my husband and I have put together a shadow box of all her belongings and a scrapbook of the precious time spent with her. We show her off to all of our family and friends.  She is missed dearly every minute of every day and remembered in everything we do.  She will never be forgotten and a part of my heart is already in heaven waiting for me.

 

That moment has forever changed me.  There are so many things that I thought were important before but are so insignificant now. Sienna Jeane's future siblings will always know they were not first and that their big sister is in Heaven. We love you Sienna Jeane!

You can contact Melanie at melanie2712@yahoo.com