Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Krystal

Mom to Jude Faye Malling

Lost on May 8th, 2007 at 17.5 weeks gestation

When I was nineteen years old I was told that I could not have children. 

 

My family doctor believed that Ii had PCOS. She then sent me to an OBGYN to have him make sure that my ovaries were alright. The first appointment with him, he did not run a pregnancy test on me. He prescribed me the nuva ring and Prozac for the pain. I was glad to take the prescriptions thinking they were going to help. The following month I went back to his office. When the nurse asked how I had been I told her my body was acting weird. I had a stomach virus for over eight days when my sister and room mate had only had it two days. I was also running a fever of 102.00 for most of the eight days. Tthe nurse then told me she would run a pregnancy test and I told her "it will be negative, I can't get pregnant!" The nurse did not return to my room, however the doctor did. He then told me that I was over three months pregnant. I told him that could not be so he did an ultrasound to prove me wrong.

 

Over the next month I started to get things ready for my child. I knew in my heart i was going to have a little girl that would look just like me. I had chosen a name already for her. Jude Faye Malling. I wanted to give her my grandfather's initials. On May 5th, 2007 I was at work for a karaoke company ran by one of my friends. I went to the bathroom and noticed blood. I then was rushed to the local ER. After five hours in the ER, they realeased me with only having done a urine pregnancy test.

 

I went home thinking my baby was fine. But two days later I was back in another ER. I was bleeding a lot more and I was very scared about my baby girl. They ran an ultrasound and found that her little heart had stopped beating. I was seventeen and a half weeks pregnant. I was sent home to loose my baby on my own. the next morning I woke in full labor my water having just broke. By the time i made it to the hospital I was bleeding out. The one thing they do not tell you is that you can tear internally when you miscarry. They rushed me into surgery to save my life. A few days later I went to my doctor for my prenatal appointment. She then revealed that I was indeed carrying a baby girl. Now my baby is in heaven with my grandpa watching her and one day I will be with her again.

 

You can contact Krystal at krysmall1987@yahoo.com