Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Tiffany

Mom to Skylar, August 27th, 2009

and baby J, September 29th, 2010

Santa Paula, California

My Husband and I have wanted a second child for many yrs. we have a daughter who will be turning 18 in Nov 2010. Many yrs of. excuses from the Dr. of why. It’s your thyroid (had Hyperthyroid with Daughter now hypo.) Or your Uterus because I have a bicornute uterus. We found out at the end of July in 2009 that a miracle had happen I was Pregnant.  We were excited! We saw the heartbeat at 6 1/2 weeks at our first appointment. Dr. also did a pelvic exam and pap. the next day the spotting started.  For the next week I had blood test done and another ultrasound done at 7 1/2 weeks. a strong Heartbeat.

We went home to wait for our scheduled ultrasound at 9 1/2 weeks. But it did not go like it should have. the tech said nothing she kept having me go to the bathroom. she pushed at my stomach and sent us home telling us the Dr. will get the report in a few days. I was mad all I wanted to do is see my baby. 30 min later I get a call from not my Dr. but the other Dr. in the office. He proceed to inform me that we had a fetal demise My baby I had prayed for for so long was gone. my heart broke. I had to wait 2 days before I saw my Dr. She gave us the option of what to do. we chose the medication. Big mistake. I did it that night and 5 hrs. later I got up to go to the bathroom and everything gushed out as I walked to the bathroom. in my hands was our baby. We collected everything in the cup the dr. provided. I almost passed out because I passed so much blood. My husband had to help me back to the bed were we had discovered there was already blood on the bed. He cleaned me up and took care of me. He tells me later that I turned so white he almost called 911.

We were given the go ahead to try again after I got my 1st period. nothing happen. So in Feb 2010 my doctor prescribed Clomid to help. I had good levels the 2nd 3rd and 4th cycle. the others were on the low side. So the Dr. said that the 6th cycle would be the last cycle. We had to plan because his sister and Brother-in-law were coming for a visit. I O'd the day they were on there way. So there was nothing we could do with company here. So the day my period was due I had no symptoms of it showing up. So I took a test and there was a faint 2nd line. So excited!  I went out and got a digital and it came up pregnant we were excited. I had morning sickness and gained weight. I felt good and Pregnant I went in at 7 1/2 weeks for a scheduled Ultrasound and it went just like the last one I had with Skylar. I new something was wrong. I did not hear from my Dr. until the next morning. she said the baby was measuring 6 1/2 weeks and no Heartbeat. Wanted to wait another week for another ultrasound. She did blood work in the meantime. so a week later at the Ultrasound It was confirm the baby had died. I met with my Dr. 2 days later. This time I could not put my husband through the medication again so we chose to do a D&C. I had to wait until the next Wednesday(it was Friday).  I was scared I could not go through that time. We were going to have the baby tested to find out what happen. Sunday afternoon I started cramping. Every 5 min. had clots and blood but it was going in the toilet and not on a pad. so I could not tell how much I was bleeding. I thought I had passed the baby. My heart broke some more.  I had an ultrasound on that Tuesday to see if I still needed the D&C and the baby was still there.  The left side had bled and the baby was on the right. So Wednesday Sept 29, 2010 I had the D&C. It was so much easier then the 1st time, physically.  emotionally I am a wreck Not sure what we will be doing until the test results come back. The Dr. will also will be doing test on me. all I want is another child. 

You can contact Tiffany at Tiffany1972@verizon.net