Monday, October 18, 2010

Miscarriage at 6.5 weeks in December 2006
Miscarriage at 9.5 weeks in 2007

My husband and I decided in Oct of 2006 we would start trying to have a baby. Well the first time we "tried" it worked in Dec we found out I was pregnant! 

On our 2nd year wedding anniversary we had a small party and thought we would tell everyone the "big news" that day, but the day before I went to the doctor for some bleeding and the next day on our anniversary they called us and said the blood hormone count was not were it should be...we never got to tell anyone about that baby and never did... We lost that baby at 6.5 weeks along. I have never experienced loss like that before, so I greived alone not knowing who to talk to. 

Then in Feb. 07 we found out that I was expecting again! We were so excited and we decided not to give into the fear of losing the baby that we ran to everyone we knew and told the "good news"!  Since I had an early miscarriage the doctor decided to do an early sono for my second prenancy at 7 weeks we had the sono and we spotted a heartbeat and we couldn't feel more excited, even though the doctor wasn't beving very clear why he wanted us to have another sono done in two weeks we were to excited to ask why! We hopped from house to house showing everyone the DVD of the little peanut's heartbeat and show off our first pictures. 

We came back at 9.5 weeks for our next sono with my bestfriend in tow and we had our deepest fears realized when the technician became very quiet and called the doctor in to confirm there was no detectable heartbeat.  They wanted to do a D&C but I decided that I would jus wait until I miscarried the baby naturally... it took almost 6 weeks after that for me to miscarry the baby but it was part of my healing process.  

We miss our babies more than words can express... Even though everyone else around us have moved on and forgotten I think about everything I missed out on... I wish I knew if they were a boy/girl so I could give them a proper name...  


Jennifer said...

We lost a baby at 10 weeks and I felt like you -- wanting to know the gender so we could name the baby. We decided on a first & middle name, both names could be used for either a boy or a girl. It has helped I think, but I still wish I knew for sure, if it was a boy or a girl. So sorry for your losses!

Jessica said...

I feel just like you! I just had a miscarriage on Oct 8th! My hubby and I tried for a baby and I got preg the first time! We were so excited! We were going to tell everyone after my 1st dr appointment but we didnt make it that far! I lost the baby at 6 weeks. In my heart I felt like it may have been a boy, but I feel like you do! I wish I could give the baby a name! I just call him/her my angel baby! The pain still hurts but it gets a little better day by day! I am very sorry for your both of your losses!! Best wishes to you!!

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage 2/11/10 at 6 weeks and 8/19/10 at 10 weeks - very similar to you. For a long ime our babies had no names. But then I read a woman's blog who gave her child a unisex name. So we decided to do the same. Our babies names are Riley & Peyton. Much love to you on this sad journey <3 (((hugs))) <3

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