Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Alecia

Mom to Kason Michael, Stillborn October 7th, 2009

and Kai Xavier, Stillborn June 18th, 2010

Overland Park, Kansas

In April of 2009, my husband and I were elated to find out we were expecting our first baby.  My pregnancy was very easy, hardly any pregnancy symptoms at all.  As my pregnancy progressed and I started feeling our baby boy move, I couldn’t be more excited until one day in October, when I thought to myself, “I haven’t felt this baby move lately.  I called my doctor’s nurse and she said not to worry but maybe come in and they would check everything out.  She said he probably is turned and that is why I am not feeling him move.  

My husband met me at my doctor’s office and I had to see the nurse practitioner.  She searched and searched to find our baby’s heart beat but was unable.  I knew something was wrong.  She decided to send us to do a sonogram and that is when we got the worse news possible from the ultrasound technician.  “I am sorry, your baby doesn’t have a heart beat”.  We were crushed and both in a state of shock.  I was induced a day later and Kason Michael Wibbenmeyer was born October 7^th, 2009 at 25 weeks gestation.  Our little man was just perfect.  We had fabulous nurses and we were sent home with a memory box full of footprints, the clothes he wore, and molds of his feet.  I will cherish those forever!

Moving forward to February of 2010, we found out that we were again expecting.  Excited yet very nervous, my pregnancy progressed very easily.  Not one pregnancy symptom besides the occasional freak out of, “is this baby moving”.  I had extra monitoring and sonograms monthly so early on we found out we were having another boy and couldn’t be happier.  We had a sonogram at 22 weeks, and our little guy was thriving…he was ahead of his due date and everything looked great.  Two days later, I started having contractions and my water broke.  We rushed to the hospital and they did everything they could to stop labor but were unsuccessful.  Labor feared to be too much for our little guy and his heart gave out.  Kai Xavier Wibbenmeyer was born June 18^th, 2010 at 23 weeks gestation.  Once again, we were faced with taking home a memory box instead of a baby.  How could this happen, consecutive stillbirths…this is unheard of! 

Our losses are un-related, as we don’t really know why we lost our first baby Kason.  I had tested positive for MTHFR, however my homocysteine levels are in the normal range and don’t really render treatment.  My doctor went ahead and treated me with baby aspirin and extra folic acid daily during my second pregnancy.  We don’t really know what triggered labor with my second pregnancy but the specialist we met with thinks it may have been due to an incompetent cervix.  I may have sustained damage to my cervix during my first delivery.  Unfortunately it seems like a matter of bad luck.  I take peace in knowing my boys are together watching over us and maybe one day we will have a baby to bring home from the hospital rather than a memory box.  The power of positive thinking is what pushes me forward!

You can contact Alecia at digss@aol.com