Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Shannon

Mom to Xavier, missed miscarriage at 9 weeks, 5 days on September 19th, 2006

Blighted ovum at 8 weeks, 3 days on February 12th, 2007

and Tristan, lost to Placental Abruption at 33 weeks on January 21st, 2008

St. Martinville, LA

We started trying April of '06, right after we got married. We got pregnant 3 months later and I was so thrilled, but then fear set in as I started bleeding, and continued bleeding all the way to 10 weeks. I was placed on bed rest at 9 weeks to try and stop the bleeding and it worked. We went for our 12 week appointment to find out the baby had passed 5 days after the last time we had seen him. We found out our baby was a son due to genetic testing. 

We were devastated to say the least, then we got pregnant again 3 months later, no bleeding this time, but sadly the baby never grew. The doctors called it a blighted ovum, so for our closure I picked a name, February, after the month we lost it.

Then 4 months later we got pregnant again, we were scared, but excited, then fear set in at 5 weeks when I started bleeding, but this little guy stuck with us. We made it past 12 weeks, then at 19 weeks we found out we were having a son. We started buying his crib, bedding, outfits, you name it, we were getting ready to bring this little man home. 

Then 33 weeks hit, and the worst day of our lives bore ahead of us. At noon that day I had the most crippling cramping I’ve ever felt. My placenta was rupturing and I had no clue. 

At 1:37pm on Jan. 21, 2008 the most beautiful little boy I’d ever seen was born. 2 hours later they finally controlled my bleeding and brought me back, and I got to hold my son Tristan for the first time.

We’ve been trying unsuccessfully since to have another baby, and we’ve been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. It’s been the longest hardest road I’ve ever had to travel, and I’ve traveled some really hard roads in the past, but nothing compares to holding your lifeless little boy in your arms, a child conceived of love, and dreams and hopes shattered. But God is pulling me and my husband up, and we’re gaining the strength to fight another day!! 

Shannon blogs at A Beautiful Journey

You can contact her at fotolvr@cox.net