Sunday, August 1, 2010

Mom to Bobby
Born asleep on July 3rd, 2009
London, UK

The Other Half and I had been together 8 years when we finally agreed to start trying for a family. We began our TTC journey at the end of October 2006.

It wasn’t until Sunday 1st March 2009 that we got our long awaited BFP. We were finally going to become a proper family after 28 months of trying.

My pregnancy with Bobby or ‘Bob the Blob’ as he was nicknamed was a tricky one.

I had on and off bleeding from weeks 6-9 but thankfully by the time the 12 week scan came around everything seemed fine.

I’d suffered no sickness at all and the flutters had begun a week earlier. Unfortunately work had sacked me but that is another story altogether. My belly had started to pop out a little and I loved knowing there was a little human inside. It was all too good to be true I often thought.
At around 15 weeks I had started to feel proper kicks and a sleeping pattern soon emerged.
At 17 weeks I started to get a pain in my right side but I put it down to growing pains as my belly was quite large already. As the next week went on, the pain got a little worse and would often travel down to my right knee while sitting. A few days later I took a trip to the Early Pregnancy Unit to ask for tests because it felt the same as a kidney infection did. I was also a little worried as Bobby wasn’t kicking as often as he had done before. However, the results came back clear, my cervix was welded shut and I was sent home.
At 19+5, the morning after having a very bad belly the night before; I woke to find myself dripping fluid. My initial thought was that of blood but when I got to the toilet I presumed it was urine because it was clear.

An hour later I woke again and the same thing happened. That afternoon I realized I hadn’t felt Bobby move and when I went to the toilet there was slight spotting so I called my Doctors to make an emergency appointment. Without examining me, the Doctor dismissed my claims that my waters had broken and instead took a urine sample, which confirmed I had an infection. With that, I was prescribed me some tablets and sent home.
Two days later we went for the 20 week sex scan. It was confirmed there that yes my waters had broken. We were transferred to the Day Assessment Unit and after bloods were taken and both Bobby’s heartbeat and my BP were monitored, we were taken into a small room and told that due to the infection and our son’s gestation we should prepare ourselves for him to die. Simple as that.
We were immediately kept in hospital where we sent the next 10 days on complete bed rest. My blood was taken every other day to monitor the infection; I was on 10 tablets per day and slowly but surely the infection decreased. Bobby’s heartbeat and my BP and temperature were monitored every couple of hours and all were perfect.
After 10 days of bed rest we were discharged on the Saturday, with instruction to attend the hospital every Tuesday and Thursday for blood tests to monitor the infection. As well as the blood tests, I was instructed to continue with 10 tablet medication per day and as lovely as it was to be home, it was a very worrying time
On the Wednesday I had another very bad belly and I had started to bleed. For whatever reason – maybe denial on my part; I talked myself into waiting until the morning to visit the hospital to get checked over.

Thursday 2nd July 2009 I woke at 06:30 to use the toilet. While on there I felt something down below. Thinking it was a clot I pulled on it but quickly realised that it was no such thing. Looking down and seeing that it was grey, I called to my OH to wake him and asked him to call an ambulance.

We arrived via ambulance at the hospital at 07:30 and I was taken straight to the Triang Room where before looking for Bobby’s heartbeat, they told me to expect him to have already died. It took a couple of minutes but there it was; his little heart was beating away as though nothing had happened. I have never felt so proud in my life.
I was then taken into a room where I was literally left with a MW.

At 08:45 I had a massive panic attack. Looking back I believe that that was the point that his heart stopped beating.’
At 10:20 we were finally seen by a Doctor who confirmed via an ultra sound that Bobby was dead.

With my OH and my parents with me, the induction for labour was started with the first tablet placed inside of me at 14:00 - seven and a half hours after first calling the ambulance.
Every three hours another tablet was placed inside and a sweep done until the pain became too much and I was given a pethadine injection in my bum, at around 04:00 3rd July.
At 05:48 Friday 2nd July 2009 our long legged little man was born sleeping at 22 weeks and 2 days, weighing a tiny 1.01lb (460g). Unfortunately due to his gestation he was born breech which caused his head to get stuck.
We did not want a PM carried out on Bobby as we already knew n our hearts what killed him; it was PPROM and as it was later discovered, I also had a Low Lying Placenta.
He was eventually laid to rest in a shared grave at 09:00 on Tuesday 14th July in a ceremony consisting of a 10 minute service and a short grave side service.
Bobby will never ever be forgotten and we will never ever get over him but we will love him so so much until the day comes where we are able to finally become that proper family.
You can contact Lucy at
Lucy blogs at Riding the Waves of Time


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