Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Mom to Angel Baby
September 10th, 2008
Goose Creek, SC

My husband and I were best friends all through high school. We were married in Jan 2008 and our son Robbie attended our wedding. Soon after we bought our first house, got a family dog, and I quit working to be a stay at home mommy. We decided it was the perfect time to bring another blessing into our family. The beginning of May I started feeling sick ALL the time. I thought I could be pregnant but was afraid to be disappointed again. So I waited but not long. On Thursday May 5 2008 hubby and I bought 2pk pregnancy test. We were so excited. I couldn't even look at the test, I made hubs do it. And when he told me we were pregnant I didn't believe him. We called all our family/friends and I even got a doctors appointment for the following Thursday. We were so happy and excited.

The next Monday I started cramping and bleeding. We knew what was happening, but we called the doctor and they sent us to the hospital to get blood work done. To see what was going on. We had to wait till the next day for the results. I wish I could say that I was strong and kept it together for my son and my husband but I cant. I was swallowed my own sadness. How could my body let this happen? WHY did this happen to us? Mostly i was mad at God, how could he let something like this happen?

Tuesday my best friend went into labor and I was suppose to be with her. She knew what was going on with our pregnancy and told me it was ok if I couldn't come. But I was in the hospital all day waiting for my god daughter to arrive. After continuously rubbing her back and helping her through the contractions, Miss Mia Ro was born. I was so happy for my BF. And Mia was just beautiful. I think the hardest part was holding Mia and knowing that I was never going to hold my baby or give him/her kisses.

About 20mins after Mia was born I got a call from my doctor. We lost our baby and she was sorry. They guessed and told us we were between 9-10 weeks. I left the hospital to go home and tell my husband that we lost our baby. That night after my husband thought I fell alseep he cried for the first time about our baby. I was so absorbed in my pain that I didn't see how much it hurt him.  We decided that we didn't want to try for another baby just yet, we didn't think we could handle another loss.

I'm happy to say God had other plans for us. Robbie is now a big brother. We found out we were pregnant about 2 months after we lost our Angel Baby. Michael was born June 2009. But still to this day I think about our Angle baby, was the baby a girl or boy. If she/he had dimples like Robbie, or had long feet like daddy. We love all our babies, even if we cant hold them all.


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