Thursday, July 22, 2010



Karina
Mom to "Huevito" (Little Egg)
Miscarried at 12 weeks on July 5th, 2008
Mexico


I was 30 years old. It was my first pregnancy. I had recently married and moved to another country (Germany). It was an unexpected pregnancy that caused a lot of fears and anxieties, but in the end I was incredibly happy and at peace... I remember I used to feel like a goddess, blooming, growing.

Very early, around 5 weeks, I started spotting and cramping, so I went to the doctor. She told me everything was fine and that mild bleeding and cramping were normal at the beginning of pregnancy and gave me another appointment.

Then, I went through the worst weeks of my life. The waiting time was hell. Blood tests and ultrasounds every week, just hoping to see the little baby appearing on the US screen. The diagnoses was confirmed at 10.5 weeks and I chose to have a natural miscarriage, which took several days. He was gone on July 5th, when I was 12w.

I went through the process being far away from my family and friends, in an unknown place, in a language I hadn't learned. Sometimes I think it was the beginning of the end of my marriage...

If losing a baby is painful, losing a baby that was not socially recognized or seen in the screen can be even more difficult in a way. It was like it never happened for my family and friends, it was just a weird fluke, a little incident.

You can contact Karina at karinaer@yahoo.com

1 comments:

lessonsinlifeandlight said...

Karina, I understand the way your friends and family feel. A friend of mine expressed that to him, my miscarriage wasn't real. I began writing on my blog lot and one day he emailed me and told me that after reading everything, it was finally real to him.

I hope you know that your pain and experience is important and valid. Sending you hugs and support from miles away...

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